


Soulless

by platonicunicorn



Category: Undertale, Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: 2nd person POV, Chara is a Voice in Frisk's Head, Flowey Is A Dick, Gen, HE KNOWS WHAT YOU'VE DONE, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, It's Gonna Get Pretty Fun, Kidnapping, Post-Genocide Route, Rating May Change, Reader Insert, Reader Is Frisk, Sans knows, Soulless Pacifist - Freeform, Suicidal Thoughts, Violence and Other Fun Stuff, and by Fun I Mean Horrifying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-12
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2018-08-22 02:34:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 29,563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8269427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/platonicunicorn/pseuds/platonicunicorn
Summary: Chara gets into your head. Together, you erase the world. And then you regret it, miss your friends and the Underground and the happiness you all once had together, so you come back. You reset, you return, and decide it’s nothing but True Pacifist from this point on, because the monsters deserve to be free.The only problem is, Chara is still in your head—and Sans is remembering a lot more than he should.--“there isn’t any LOVE in your soul,” Sans says softly. “i don’t know how you managed that, considering—” Suddenly, his eye sockets go completely black. “—you’re definitely a murderer.”





	1. Ruined

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey lovelies! Welcome to my first story! A few notes before we get into the thick of it... first, I didn't make this story mature or anything, but I want to warn you there are definitely going to be a handful of references to suicidal thoughts, and probably some violence later on (Flowey is DEFINITELY a psychopath). If either of those things bother you, be warned! I won't put a warning before each chapter where something like that happens specifically because I feel it ruins the suspense, but know that they can show up anytime, anywhere.  
> Second, please let me know what you think/feel/love/hate about this story!  
> Thanks for reading, you guys. You're all lovely human beings. Also, there's gonna be major spoilers. Like, for everything.

**_Frisk's sign language_ **

_Frisk's thoughts_

**Chara's dialogue/thoughts**

"everybody else's dialogue"

 

* * *

 

When you wake up, the first thing you notice is how much your ribs hurt.

Of course, a fall from that height wouldn't leave you unscathed. You stare up into the faded daylight, nothing more than a pinprick in the distance above you, and then you cover your eyes with your hands.

You had wondered, briefly, if that would have been the end. Erasing the world, after all, was a fairly dramatic murder-suicide. Only, you hadn't stayed dead.

Determination was becoming an inconvenience at this point, to put it lightly.

If you hadn't felt a responsibility to return to the Underground and right your wrongs, you never even would have reset in the first place.

But once the world was gone, when there was that sweet, brief moment that Chara wasn't in your head and you knew for certain that each thought you had was solely your own— you couldn't just leave your friends. To die now, to  _stay_ dead, would be— selfish? wrong?

It isn't truly your fault in the first place that the world had been destroyed— except  **it is, it is, it is, you liar** because Chara may have been in your head but  **every choice was yours** _—_

but you weren't the one in control—

**but you were the one who chose.**

You sit up slowly, crushing soft golden flower petals under your fingers when you try to push yourself up. They crumple beneath your weight, and you can't help but find it fitting that the very first thing you've managed to accomplish in this timeline is nothing but more destruction.

 **Quit acting like a poetic sap,** a voice in your head suddenly snaps.  **We've got things to do. Stop moping and get off your ass.**

That isn't a new voice; you recognize it from the way it crackles and pops like static, just like that one that used to invade your nightmares.

 **Hey, bucko,** the voice says in the back of your mind, and despite your sudden surge of willpower to squash it before it continues, it singsongs,  **I'm still here.**

The vivid memories of the first human threaten to burst forth again. You hadn't forgotten them, of course. You never would be able to forget them. But you'd shoved them away and locked them in a dark drawer where you'd hoped they would stay. The terrible things that you did begin to resurface, the things that  _they_ made you do, the things you're going to have to live with for the rest of your existence, no matter how many resets you put this world through, are crawling back to the forefront of your mind—

You can recall the exact shade of grey that was the dust of Papyrus on your hands, the screeching sound of your knife slicing through Mettaton's body, the way the light reflected on the golden castle hallway floor and formed dark shadows behind the pillars—

 _How are you still here?_ you demand.

Chara gives off the impression of a careless shrug, despite not having a physical form.  **Hitched a ride when you reset. It wasn't hard. Your mind remembers me... I belong here...**

You shove yourself up into a standing position, grabbing your abdomen with one arm and grimacing at the pain that shoots through your ribs. You probably fractured them, but it's nothing that Mo—

Nothing that Toriel can't fix.

 **If she's even here at all,** Chara amends, but it doesn't sound cruel, just... curious.

The walk toward the entrance of the ruins is slow, and you have to take a few moments to catch your breath as you lean against the archway. Maybe they're a little more than fractured. After you can sufficiently inhale again, however painful it may be, you make your way into the darkness on the other side of the arch.

The only source of light in the cavern is a shaft of sunlight in the center of the room, streaming from a crack in the rock ceiling. In the light lies a small patch of grass. You know who's going to be there, waiting for your arrival, waiting to start another cycle of torture...

You approach slowly until the illuminated patch comes full into view, and—

It's empty.

Flowey is nowhere to be seen.

You don't know whether to feel relieved or a thousand times more terrified. 

 **Let's go with terrified,** Chara suggests excitedly.

Slowly, you walk towards it until the blades of grass brush up against your worn-out shoes. There doesn't seem to be a single piece of evidence that Flowey— or anything else— had ever been there.

 **Nothing to see here, then,** Chara huffs impatiently.

You don't move, just stare at the grass beneath your feet.

 **Hello...?** Chara says.  **Can we leave now that you've adequately studied the dirt?**

Your head snaps up, and you look forward toward the ruins, where Toriel will be waiting for you. Or really, she should be here now, to stop Flowey from stealing your soul, but if he's not here, Toriel may never show up either.

 _Fine,_ you reply to Chara, and then walk forward carefully.

You don't want to see Toriel— god, you know the only thing you'll be able to think about is how her fur turned to dust beneath your hands and the look on her face that you tried your hardest not to let get to you—

 **Crybaby,** Chara accuses.

You wish that the voices in your head would come with mute buttons.

*                               *                              *

**Just do it, you wimp.**

Chara isn't helping you muster up any more bravery with their ceaseless commentary. All you have to do is knock on the door to Toriel's home, and she'll heal your ribs and give you a hug and bake you a pie, and then  _you'll be okay_ but you can't bring yourself to do it because what if she remembers, or what if Chara takes over your limbs and you can't control yourself and it all happens again—?

 **Why do you care if she dies?** Chara scoffs.  **You've already killed her before. Doing it again isn't any different.**

But it  _is_ different. You aren't going to hurt another monster again if you can help it, and especially not Toriel. 

You do need help, though.

 **I promise to wait to start my murder spree until after you're healed,** Chara sighs, but it really doesn't make you feel any better. You step up to the door and raise your fist.

You are filled with determination.

_knock knock knock_

You wait a moment, holding your breath in anticipation—

_But nobody came._

Slowly, you push open the door. The room beyond is silent and empty, abandoned. For a tense moment of utter panic, you think that she may not have returned after you reset. After all, Flowey hadn't been anywhere in sight. What if your reset had set the world back to its original state— but hadn't returned the monsters?

Then Chara whispers something wordless in the back of your mind, nudging you to the left. You turn and see a mug of tea sitting on the counter. Rushing toward it, you take it in your hands, and it isn't steaming but it's still warm, which means it had to have been made in the past hour.

 **She was just here,** Chara says, and you refuse to think it sounds relieved.  **Guess we should wait til she gets back, then.**

 _No,_ you say quickly.  _We're leaving while we still can._

 **But your ribs,** Chara protests.

You just grimace _. I'll be fine._

You place the mug back on the counter where you found it, and climb over the chain that blocks off the staircase. Chara is suspiciously silent, even as you avoid going past the kitchen or the bedrooms. Your descent down the stairs is uneasy, even though you aren't walking into a battle. Just a long, empty purple hallway.

The door opens easily, despite its respective size to your body, and you emerge out into the freezing snow flurries of Snowdin Forest.

 **Ooh,** Chara says.  **Here he comes.**

You walk forward carefully, trying not to let the tenseness in your shoulders show as you hear the sound of a branch snapping behind you.  _You don't know what he remembers,_ you remind yourself. _He probably has no idea._

You barely reach the bridge when you hear the footsteps, and you freeze.

"Human. . . Don't you know how to greet a new pal?"

You can't help but flinch.

"Turn around and shake my hand."

You turn carefully, like any sudden movement might set him off. As soon as you see his sweatshirt, you remember what it looked like covered in blood (ketchup?) and dust, how it looked when it was torn and ragged from your knife, how it looked when his eye gleamed blue and bone shards embedded themselves in your chest—

The whoopee cushion squeals, and Sans grins. "heh... the old whoopee cushion in the hand trick. it's ALWAYS funny."

You try your best to smile at him in response, but it comes out more like a pained grimace, and Sans notices.

"hey, kid... you okay?" he asks, his grin not fading but his eyes expressing concern.

You shrug.

"...can you talk?" he asks, and you wonder if he remembers from before or if he's got a reason that's one of the first things on his mind.

You shake your head.

Sans nods. "hey, no problem! i'm pretty fluent in hands myself. what's your name, kid?"

 ** _F - R - I - S - K,_** you sign quickly. 

"cool name," he says. "what're you doing out here? where'd you come from?"

 ** _The door_** _,_ you tell him, gesturing back toward the large archway back in the woods.  ** _The ruins._**

"that door doesn't open," he says. "trust me, kid, i've tried."

You don't know what to do except shrug.  ** _Where else would I have come from?_**

"i don't know," Sans admits, narrowing his eye sockets at you. "and that's what's worrying me."


	2. Chilled

 

Your eyes widen in fear. **He knows, he knows, he knows, he knows what you _did_** _—_

He must take pity on you when he sees your expression, though, because his eyes soften and his grin twists downward. “sorry, kid. didn’t mean to scare you,” he says, looking slightly sheepish.

You just look down at your shoes, letting your sweater sleeves hang limp past your fingers. When you begin to sniffle, you can hear Chara scoff and roll their eyes in your mind.

“are… are you crying?” Sans asks incredulously, and you quickly wipe your eyes and shake your head, but you still don’t look back up at him. “look, kiddo, if you really came from back there, you’ve got to be a human, right? that’s not a really great thing for you right now. my brother, papyrus, he’s on patrol for humans right now. he’s trying to capture one.”

You take a deep breath to try and calm yourself down. **_Okay._**

Sans looks at you suspiciously. “so... you’re just going to let him?”

**_He sounds like he really wants to,_** you sign. **_It would probably make him happy, wouldn’t it?_**

“yeah, uh, definitely,” Sans says, surprised at your lack of resistance. “uh. here he comes now, actually. i was gonna tell you to hide behind that conveniently-shaped lamp, but… i guess you can just… stand there?”

You can hear the approach of Papyrus (he’s never been exceptionally good at sneaking, or being subtle) as his large footsteps crunch the snow and he shouts for his brother.

“sup, bro?” Sans says casually.

“YOU KNOW WHAT -SUP- BROTHER!” he says, stamping his foot. “IT’S BEEN EIGHT DAYS AND YOU STILL HAVEN’T… RECALIBRATED. YOUR. PUZZLES! YOU JUST HANG AROUND OUTSIDE YOUR STATION! WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING?!?”

“just _chillin’_ with this human i ran into,” he shrugs.

“I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THAT!!” Papyrus screeches. “WHAT IF A HUMAN COMES THROUG—”

Sans waits patiently with a grin as Papyrus’ jaw drops like it unhinges from his skull.

“SANS…?”

“yeah, bro?”

“DID YOU SAY…” Suddenly, his eye sockets lock onto your tiny form. “OH MY GOD!! THAT’S…” He pauses. “UM. IS THAT THE HUMAN?”

Sans follows Papyrus’ line of sight, then shakes his head. “that’s a lamp.”

“OH.”

Hating the way his expression droops, you step forward and wave at him with a little smile to catch his attention. He turns to you, narrowing his eye sockets.

“IS… IS _THAT_ THE HUMAN?” Papyrus asks Sans carefully, without moving his gaze from studying you.

“yup.” Sans nods.

“OH. MY. GOD!!” he shouts, eye sockets widening. “I… I HAVE TO CAPTURE THEM!” He turns to Sans with a look of concern. “BUT…! MY PUZZLES ARE IN TOWN! AND YOU HAVEN’T RECALIBRATED YOURS! HOW WILL I CAPTURE THEM?”

**_I can do Sans’ puzzles, if you want,_** you offer. Papyrus isn’t paying attention, but Sans catches your movement and interrupts his tantrum.

“hey, bro, the human says they’ll just do my puzzles,” he repeats so Papyrus hears. “i’ve got plenty of crosswords left over from last time.”

“BUT CROSSWORDS ARE NOT NEARLY AS DIFFICULT AS THE JUNIOR JUMBLE!” he protests.

Sans shrugs. “you could just capture them now, without any puzzles,” he suggests.

Papyrus gasps as if Sans has just proposed they adopt the Annoying Dog as a pet. “NO PUZZLES?!? THE GREAT PAPYRUS MUST _ALWAYS_ HAVE PUZZLES, CAPERS, JAPES…! YOU CAN’T JUST _CAPTURE_ SOMEONE WITHOUT GIVING THEM A PUZZLE FIRST!” He drops his head in his hands.

**_I can meet him on the other side of town to do his puzzles,_** you offer to Sans.

He nods. “sure thing, kid. thanks for playing along with him. he’s definitely glad you’re here.” He turns to Papyrus and says, “why don’t you capture the human later, then? after they get to your puzzles?”

Papyrus immediately straightens and beams, striking a majestic pose. “OF COURSE!! COME FIND ME WHEN YOU ARE PREPARED TO BE CAPTURED, HUMAN! I SHALL BE WAITING!” And then without a second glance, he races off back toward Snowdin.

You and Sans watch after him in silence for a moment.

**That was painful to sit through,** Chara groans. **Doesn’t the tall one ever shut up?**

For a split second, you’re worried that Sans somehow heard that comment, and that any second he’ll turn to you with a flashing blue glint in his left eye and a Gaster Blaster hovering just over his shoulder— but he doesn’t react and you remember that Chara exists solely in your head _(_ _for now)._

“i really do appreciate how enthusiastic you are to help out my bro,” Sans comments, startling you out of your thoughts. “he doesn’t get to do this kind of thing very often.”

**_I just really like puzzles,_** you sign, smiling softly. **_Plus, he’s really cool._**

Sans chuckles. “yeah. yeah, he is.”

You start to laugh silently, but you’re interrupted by a sudden shiver that runs through your whole body. You realize your hands are shaking; you wonder how long they’ve been doing that.

Sans follows your eyes down to your fingers and realizes what’s happening. “oh, kid, you must be freezing. why didn’t ya say anything?”

You make a face at him as you pull your arms around yourself in a futile attempt to get warmer.

He rolls his eye sockets. “why didn’t you _sign_ anything, then? you could freeze to death out here. let’s get you someplace warm.” He holds out his hand toward you. “come on, i know a shortcut.”

You wrap your frozen fingers around his hand, but you’re so small in comparison that you can only manage to hold on to two phalanges. He makes sure you have a good grip, and then suddenly you’re not in the woods anymore. Between one blink and another, you’ve arrived in front of his and Papyrus’ house.

You’d forgotten how disconcerting it felt to travel Sans’ shortcuts, but you figured you’d probably never get used to it, anyway.

He releases your hand and pulls the door open, nudging you inside in front of him. “i’ve got an extra hoodie you can wear. it’s definitely too big for you, but it’ll warm you up faster than anything else we’ve got in here. skeletons don’t exactly have a need for a fireplace.”

All you can do is nod. Your hands are still too stiff from the cold to sign.

He gestures vaguely toward the sofa and then heads into his room upstairs, assumingly to grab the sweater for you. You take initiative to climb up onto the couch and then settle yourself contentedly into it, curling into the cushions. It’s the most comfort you’ve had in quite a while, despite the fact that the stuffing is dense and some springs are sticking out. To you, it’s perfect.

**Don’t get too comfortable,** Chara warns. **I’m still freezing to death here.**

_You’re already dead,_ you think sleepily, and that’s when it crosses your mind that you maybe haven’t slept in a really long time and maybe you should do that now. It’s really comfortable here, anyway, and…

**Don’t you dare,** Chara shrieks, but you’re already asleep.

*                    *                    *

As you begin to return to consciousness, you’re immediately aware of a warm weight spread across your body. You open your eyes slowly and notice that familiar shade of blue. Sans must have gotten the sweatshirt for you after you fell asleep. You hadn’t really meant to do that, but you think you probably needed it. The last time you slept was…

Well.

Soulless beings don’t really need sleep, do they?

You pull the hoodie around you over your sweater and stick your arms through the fur-lined sleeves. They hang at least six inches past your fingertips, but all that means is that you won’t have to bother with gloves later.

The television set in front of the couch is powered off, and you don’t hear anything moving in the house. You slide off the edge of the sofa (your toes are _just_ barely hanging above the floor) and peek into the kitchen. You spot the edge of a white fluffy tail sticking out from under the sink cabinet but, other than that, no signs of life.

You go back through the living room and climb the stairs, looking down the hall. Papyrus’ door is closed, so he may be asleep or browsing the UnderNet. Sans’ door is also shut, like always, but there are no colored lights flashing from under the door. It’s dark and silent.

**Looks like they abandoned you,** Chara observes.

_They wouldn’t_ , you dismiss. _They’re just asleep. Or maybe Sans is in his lab._

**No, they remembered,** they insist. **They know exactly what you did. Sans is trying to find a way to kill you again right now.**

_Stop it!_

**They’re coming after you, Frisk. They r e m e m b e r.**

_No, they can’t. There’s no way they can._

**If they didn't before, they do now …**

_What does that even mean?_ you demand.

**Well, he must have heard me, don’t you think? It was quiet enough while you were asleep that there wouldn’t have been much else to hear.**

_What?_

Before Chara can do anything else but laugh, the front door whips open behind you. You spin around, horrified.

Sans is standing there, looking at the ground with a scowl. “hey, kid. looks like you’re finally awake.”

**_Hi,_** you sign, but Sans doesn’t look up.

There’s a tense silence that can’t last more than a handful of seconds, but it feels like it stretches on and on and on… until Sans’ skull snaps up suddenly and he seems to stare straight into your SOUL.

His left eye is flaming blue.

“anyone ever told you that you talk in your sleep?”


	3. Trousled

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey lovelies! This is a longer chapter than normal, but I didn’t want to break it up or anything. So enjoy a slightly larger amount of words to read! This is the chapter that ends the “platonicunicorn knows what’s going to happen next and can foresee future plot points” section of this fic. (In other words, I haven’t planned past this point.) Still once a week updates minimum though! I don’t plan on slowing down or anything. Just thought you all should be informed! Have fun!

 

**_I…_** There isn’t an explanation that you can think of that won’t make Sans suspicious or angry or _murderous_. **_What did I say…?_**

Sans finally looks at you, a fury in his gaze that brings back so many memories—

He sees your expression and the blue flame flickers out. “…look, kid,” he says hesitantly. “i don’t know what your story is, why you’re down here in the first place, why you came from the ruins… but i don’t think you should stay here.”

That statement doesn’t seem to connect to anything in your brain, at first. You just stare at him blankly.

“i mean, you’re human. you belong above ground, don’t ya? i know what it’s like to miss home,” he adds.

And then it clicks. **_No._** You quickly begin to shake your head, and once you start you can’t seem to stop until it becomes a violent protest. **_No, no, no, no, nononono—_** You’re signing it over and over. **_Please don’t make me leave, please let me stay, please—_** You collapse to the ground covering your face with your hands as your shoulders begin to tremble with sobs.

“jeez, kid, calm down!” Sans says, coming up to your heaped form and resting his bony fingers on your shoulders. “frisk, okay! i’m sorry.”

_This_ is your home, and it has been and will be, and you belong here with the monsters and even once they were freed you never really wanted to leave and go back up to the surface. Magic and glowing water and a robot celebrity with absurd cooking shows and a secret laboratory and such a colorful menagerie of occupants—

It’s not even a question. The Underground is your home— _Snowdin_ is your home, in those rare timelines where everything goes right and Chara is silent and no one dies, and you don’t ever want to leave it.

Except, in order to keep the monsters here safe, in order to keep your _friends_ safe, you might have to.

“you’ve only been here for less than a day,” Sans points out. “and while i agree snowdin’s pretty nice, i don’t think it’s _that_ nice. so what’s goin’ on?”

**_Can’t,_** you sign miserably. **_Can’t tell you._**

“i don’t like secrets,” Sans warns, but you just shake your head again.

**_I just… I won’t hurt anyone, I promise. Please._ **

Sans doesn’t say anything initially, just infinitesimally tightens his hands on your shoulders. Without thinking too much about the consequences, you lean forward and tuck yourself into his arms, burying your face in the fleece of his jacket.

After a few seconds, just when you think he’s going to push you away, he tentatively repositions his arms to wrap around you with a sigh. “…lucky for you, kid, i promised someone else the same thing.”

You wipe the tears off your face with the sleeve of the hoodie Sans had let you borrow, glad for the familiar comfort of both the one you have and the one he’s currently wearing. (You think it isn’t the right time to point out that you match.)

“but you know,” he continues lowly. “if you break your promise? i get to break mine.”

You just nod against his ribcage and savor the fact that he isn’t currently trying to murder you.

(Because who knows how long it will be until he needs to again?)

                                                                              *                     *                    *                       

You want to stay in the house until the end of time, but unfortunately, you know you can’t. The next night, while Sans is out at his sentry station, you leave. You leave his hoodie folded up on the couch. It probably would be better to take it with you, but you can’t help but feel like it counts as stealing. He only said you could borrow it, after all, not keep it.

**You’re going to freeze to death because of your own stupidity,** Chara announces.

_Then so be it,_ you think.

You close the door to the house behind you and start off on your way. It’s dark, probably further into the night than you like to stay up, but it was the only way to get out while Sans wasn’t around. It’s still past your bedtime, though, and the last thing you want is to fall asleep in the woods and get smothered in snow.

A night at Snowed Inn it is, then. At least you have enough gold from the ruins to pay for it, if you do manage to stay for a full night.

You’ll have to confront Papyrus before you go on— which you don’t really want to do, but you know it’ll make him happy. Plus, it’s kind of unavoidable anyway. At the very least, you think the timing of this will work out in your favor. Sans is gone, it’s nighttime, and Papyrus probably won’t be at his puzzles. You feel bad about that, because you know he enjoys them so much, but you really just don’t have the time.

**Good. I hate puzzles,** Chara snarls.

At the counter of the inn, the nice bunny monster tells you “80 gold. Have a good night,” and you smile at her, but it doesn’t reach your eyes. The small monster behind the counter looks at you with wide eyes. He looks scared.

**He knows,** the voice whispers. **He knows what you did.**

_What_ you _did,_ you remind it, but it doesn’t stop the chill of fear and regret from clenching around your heart.

You head upstairs and curl yourself into the bed, closing your eyes tightly enough that if you block out the sound of the three monsters snoring next door, you can almost pretend that you’re in Papyrus’ cherry-red racecar bed. You can pretend he’s out in the kitchen cooking spaghetti for dinner as you take a nap, and that Sans is on the couch reading, MTT game shows playing on the television as background noise.

You can pretend that you don’t remember the ashy taste on your lips of dust mixed with snow in the breeze.

**You can pretend that Sans doesn’t want you dead.**

(You don’t know if that comment is provided by the voice or your own head.)

_He doesn’t. He said I could stay. He wanted me to._

**He just wants you to stay close so he can make sure you don’t kill anyone again,** Chara sneers.

With these sorts of thoughts, you’ll never get to sleep. The snoring isn’t helping, either.

You sigh. And you open your eyes. And you get out of the bed.

The inn lady refunds your payment since you were only upstairs for ten minutes, and you take it and sign **_thank you_** and then hurry out the door.

If you stay here any longer, you think you’ll explode. Or collapse. Or fade out of existence. So on to the battle with Papyrus it is. Then you’ll have a whole new world of problems to solve with Undyne— but that’s less important now. You know for sure that you can handle her eventually. Sans could end up being so much more dangerous than anything else in the Underground, even—

**Speaking of Flowey,** Chara interjects helpfully, **where has he been this whole time?**

_How should I know?_ you retort. _He’s your br—_

**No, he isn’t,** Chara nearly shouts in your mind, and you cover your ears reflexively even though it won’t do anything to block out the sound.

There’s a brief pause where an apology would normally go, but Chara doesn’t say anything except **We’ll worry about him later.**

You wait for them to add any helpful suggestions, but your mind goes silent.

(You could really use a hug from Papyrus right about now.)

Your trek through Snowdin should really be cheerful, with all the monsters that inhabit the town ( _they aren’t afraid of you anymore, they aren’t afraid of you, they aren’t afraid—)_

**They should be. They will b —**

_Stop._

The blizzard is getting worse as you make your way to the edge of town, so you pull your sweater sleeves down even further over your hands and tug your arms in to your chest. Skeletons may not have an issue with the cold, but a small and fragile human most certainly does. If you lose your fingers before you even confront Papyrus, it’d be just your luck.

**Not like you wouldn’t deserve it.**

The snow swirls around you so thickly that you can’t see more than a few inches in front of you, and every breath you take is a whirlwind of snowflakes and frozen air that stabs at your throat like icicles. it didn’t seem to be this awful last time.

Then again— last time, you weren’t exactly paying attention to the weather.

A silhouette begins to form in the snowfall beyond you, at least eight feet tall and definitely imposing. You know exactly what he’s capable of, and have no reason to be afraid.

(Really, it isn’t him that you’re afraid of.)

Papyrus is smiling widely, as always, when you finally get close enough that the snow clears and you can see his face. “I WAS NOT EXPECTING YOU SO LATE! BUT THAT’S FINE! THE GREAT PAPYRUS IS ALWAYS PREPARED TO CAPTURE HIS ENEMIES!! HUMAN. ALLOW ME TO TELL YOU ABOUT SOME COMPLEX FEELINGS…”

You’ve heard this speech before, but it reminds you that Papyrus thinks of you as a friend, and at the moment, that’s something you definitely need to hear. You do, indeed, feel the joy of meeting a fellow pasta lover, and the admiration of Papyrus’ puzzle skills. At this point, though, you don’t even desire to have a cool, smart person think that you are cool— you just want him to think you’re _human._

“THESE FEELINGS... THEY MUST BE WHAT YOU ARE FEELING RIGHT NOW!!!” he booms, flinging his arms out wide in welcome. “I CAN HARDLY IMAGINE WHAT IT MUST BE LIKE TO FEEL THAT WAY. AFTER ALL, I AM VERY GREAT. I DON'T EVER WONDER WHAT HAVING LOTS OF FRIENDS IS LIKE.”

**This time, at least.**

You smile at the skeleton encouragingly. he is, after all, very great.

“IN FACT,” he adds. “I’VE GOT ONE HERE WITH ME RIGHT NOW!”

That’s… not what he’s supposed to say next…

“Howdy!” a small voice says from behind Papyrus’ ankle bones. “I’m Flowey! It’s been a while since we’ve seen each other!”

**Found him,** Chara chirps.

The smile drops from your face, and Papyrus immediately looks worried. “WHAT’S WRONG?” he asks. “THIS SMALL FLOWER IS SO NICE!! YOU DON’T NEED TO BE AFRAID OF HIM.  OR ME!”

**_Papyrus,_** you sign frantically, **_get away from him. He’s BAD._**

Papyrus just frowns. “MY APOLOGIES, HUMAN, BUT THOUGH MY BROTHER IS ADEPT AT SPEAKING IN HANDS, THE GREAT PAPYRUS HAS NOT HAD ENOUGH TIME TO LEARN. I’VE BEEN TRAINING!!” He takes a moment to pose dramatically, looking majestic with his cape fluttering behind him in the snow.

**_Please,_** you sign frantically, but Papyrus has already moved on.

“What’s wrong?” Flowey asks, saccharine smile twisting grotesquely where Papyrus can’t see him. “Aren’t you glad we can finally play together again?”

“YOU ALREADY KNOW EACH OTHER?” Papyrus asks, delighted. “WONDERFUL!!”

“I’m here to help Papyrus _capture_ you,” Flowey adds. “Doesn’t that sound fun?”

**Sure thing, psycho,** Chara huffs.

**_What are you doing here?_** you demand, but Flowey just shrugs (as much as he can without possessing shoulders).

“Sorry, I have no idea what that means. But I’m sure it was a yes!” the megalomaniacal overgrown weed says brightly. And that’s such a lie— you know Flowey is just as fluent in sign language as you, even without hands.

Papyrus beams and takes a step forward, Flowey grinning menacingly by his feet. The ground rumbles under your toes, just barely perceptible, but you look up at Papyrus in fear.

He doesn’t seem to notice, as your violently red soul ( _not yours,_ Chara informs you) is ripped from your chest. Bones that are taller than you begin to materialize in the air around Papyrus, glowing light blue and gliding across the ground toward you.

You can still dodge them easily, since Papyrus has yet to activate his “blue attack,” but you’re trying not to take your eyes off of Flowey in case he decides to lash out when you’re not looking, which makes it exponentially more difficult to pay attention to Papyrus.

Flowey is glaring at you but his insane grin doesn’t waver; you float above the bones that Papyrus sends in your direction, waiting for that familiar harsh pull of gravity that will drag your soul to the ground.

Then, all of a sudden, a vine thicker than your arm shoots out of the ground and wraps around your shoe, and your soul drops as you fall to the ground as it pulls you off balance. Your knee scrapes against the dirt, and you know your old bandage isn’t going to be enough to fix it this time. You can hear the delighted shrieks of Flowey, enjoying every bit of your suffering.

Papyrus shouts, “OH! UMM… I DIDN’T EVEN GET TO ACTIVATE MY BLUE ATTACK…! WELL, NO MATTER! EXCELLENT WORK, SMALL FLOWER!! NOW I CAN EASILY CAPTURE THE HUMAN!”

And that should be the end of it. Papyrus should take you and put you in the “cool” shed, and then you should leave for Waterfall before Sans realizes you’re gone.

That _should_ be the end of it.

But, of course, it isn’t.

As Papyrus recalls his bone attacks, Flowey begins to cackle. He doesn’t retract his vines from your foot so that Papyrus can officially capture you— in fact, he tightens them so much that you can feel your metatarsals beginning to crack. You can’t keep yourself from grimacing.

“UM. FLOWEY?” Papyrus says. “I THINK YOU’RE HURTING THEM…”

“You want to capture them, don’t you?” Flowey bites. “How did you think you would do that? With hugs? Some undercooked spaghetti?”

“MY SPAGHETTI IS PERFECTION!” Papyrus protests, but Flowey has already turned his attention back to you.

“You haven’t killed this time,” he observes darkly. “Does that mean you’re not Chara anymore? Does that mean they’re dead?” His face shifts into a grotesque distortion of what it was before, and he cackles again. “Or does that mean you’re still there, waiting, just biding your time?”

“what’s goin’ on here?” a voice suddenly rumbles behind you.

Flowey’s vines retreat instantly, and you catch a glimpse of frustration and a little fear on his face as he disappears into the snow.

Papyrus just looks around confusedly. “SANS? WHY AREN’T YOU WORKING!?”

“i heard…” Sans looks concerned, which isn’t an emotion you’ve often seen from him. “what was that thing?”

“IT WAS MY FRIEND. YOU SCARED HIM OFF!” Papyrus accuses.

Sans just frowns. Then he turns to you. “what did you do.”

**_Nothing, I swear,_** you sign quickly.

“no, there’s something— something’s wrong, now. you’re about to…”

You’re frozen; you can’t even seem to move your eyes away from him as he starts getting more and more agitated.

“i’ll… i’ll be right back, paps,” he says, and then disappears, opposite of the direction of town.

You stare after him in terror, wondering what he meant and what you did and what was going to happen now—

“WOWIE! I’VE NEVER SEEN HIM SO… NOT LAZY!!” Papyrus exclaims. “NOT SINCE HE WORKED IN THE CAPITAL! I’D BETTER GO SEE WHAT HE’S DOING BEFORE HE GETS INTO TROUBLE.”

And Papyrus sets off back toward his house.

You’re left standing there, still cold and confused. What did Sans mean, you were going to do something? You hadn’t attacked anyone, you hadn’t reset, you hadn’t even been _mean_ and so why would he think that you’d—

“Howdy!” You hear the faint sound of something emerging from the snow behind you. You whirl around. “I’m back, Chara!”

His expression morphs into the face of nightmares once again.

“And I’m not letting you kill me this time.”

You don’t even have time to comprehend his words before a thick green vine shoots through your chest and shatters your soul.


	4. Grilled

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Another long dang chapter but who's complaining? (me.) Enjoy!

The nothingness is eternal and ubiquitous and all-consuming and viscous around you. There is blackness and there is darkness and somehow, they are two different things, swirling and intertwining in all the conceivable space around you. A single point of light is distinguishable from the void, a white glow in the distance.

You move toward it mindlessly, as if you're in a trance.

Or— as if you've been here before...?

Your arm is outstretched and you can't quite remember if you're the one who made it do that, or if it always has been. It grows as you approach it, the only thing that anchors your perception against the nothing.

A deep voice, like a thunderhead breaking on the horizon, rumbles around you from no discernable source. "You cannot give up now! Frisk! Stay determined."

The white glow becomes distinguishable as a word, and then individual letters become legible when you get close enough.

**C O N T I N U E**

There's another glimmer further to the right, another word you can't quite distinguish. You remember it, though, and you know it does something you don't want to ever have to do again. You turn away. 

It seems like muscle memory as your outstretched arm moves in the direction of the word closer to you, seems like a natural movement as your fingertips brush against its edges—

* * *

The last SAVE point was the one in Snowdin, which at least saves you the pain of exiting the ruins and meeting Sans all over again. The sight of such a friendly town fills you with determination— or it had, once. Now, it just gives you a vague sense of overhanging dread.

You retrace your steps through town in the dark, as it's still nighttime. This time, though, it may be a much better idea to find Sans before reaching Papyrus— while you're scared of what Sans might say to you, you're much more terrified that Flowey now seems to actively and openly manipulating Papyrus, and Sans is the only one who might have a chance of stopping it.

But then, Sans is going to know you loaded a SAVE, or at least suspect, and he isn't going to have a single idea why. If he thinks you did it for the wrong reason...

Flowey is supposed to be the bad guy here. Not Sans. But Sans, if he knows ( _and he always knows, you can't lie to him_ ) will not hesitate to kill you. And if he does, he's going to do everything in his power to keep you from coming back.

 **I told you he'd remember,** Chara scorns.

 _But he didn't,_ you protest. Flowey had intervened. _Flowey_ had killed you. Not Sans— Flowey remembered, like he always did, but not anyone else—

**No, Sans did. Just before he ran off. He knew exactly who you were, what you've done...**

You walk faster, deciding to stop by the shop before heading back into the fray. You're still at full HP, of course, but Cinnamon Bunnies are pretty great comfort food, which you absolutely could use now. Plus, if the confrontation with Papyrus goes south, you'll need it.

When you enter the shop, the blast of heated air is a blessing in comparison to the cold. The bunny lady behind the counter welcomes you, and you smile at her as you point to the Cinnamon Bunny in the display case before you. She pulls it out and wraps it in pastry paper before handing it to you, and the warmth radiating from it might be the only thing that keeps your fingers from falling off due to frostbite.

**Drama queen.**

You dig in your pocket for the small amount of gold you'd managed to procure in the ruins, despite the haunting lack of monsters to battle. Once you've counted enough coins (nearly all that you have), you hand it to her.

And then, there's a terribly awkward silence as you just stand there, holding the warm treat, not leaving.

"Sweetie...?" she says after a moment. "Do you want anything else?"

Slowly, you shake your head.

"Then... honey, I need to be able to help the other customers..."

You understand. You need to leave.

 _Please don't hurt my family_ flashes through your mind. A vision of the same shop but empty and cold, and you're holding hundreds of gold in your hands, grinning widely—

When you look up, the bunny is staring at you with a combination of worry and horror. She doesn't ask if you're okay.

You had wanted to stay in the warmth of the shop as long as you could manage, but now everything around you seems cold anyway. You quickly sign **_thank you_** and then leave.

 _If you could stop bringing up those memories,_ you tell Chara, _that would be nice._

Chara shrugs mentally. **Sorry. As much fun as I'd have doing it, that's not me.**

That doesn't make sense to you, because who else would be doing it? _Stop lying,_ you tell them, but they're just silently smug in return.

Still wanting to get out of the cold until you can find Sans to help with Flowey before you find Papyrus, you stop for a moment outside the door of the Librarby. The library has always been comforting to you, to be surrounded by books and peaceful quiet. Books don't fight; books don't judge.

 _"After all, humans have proven their SOULs don't need these things to exist,"_ you remember.

You keep walking past.

None of the monsters here in Snowdin seem to actively be avoiding you, but none of them approach you voluntarily, either, whether for battle or socialization. That's just as well, you suppose, because at least this way, Chara can't get to them.

**Buzzkill.**

When you get to Papyrus' and Sans' house, you sit down on the front step of the porch. After a moment, Chara says, **So, are we just staying here, or...?**

_We're waiting for Sans._

**Uh, yeah, that doesn't sound like a bad idea at all.**

_We need him to help save Papyrus from Flowey._

"HUMAN?"

Your head snaps up when you hear Papyrus' voice, and you stand up. The towering skeleton is approaching you, but thankfully, Flowey is nowhere in sight around him.

"HUMAN!" he shouts again, walking toward you with concern across his features. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE IN THE COLD!? COME INTO MY HOUSE!"

Surprised at his sudden appearance and desperate for somewhere warm to sit, you follow him inside.

The interior of the skeleton household is exactly as you remember it— _except less empty this time_ _—_ and it's killing you on the inside to see Papyrus just fine, alive, without any demon flower attached to him, already cooking spaghetti on the stove.

"YOU MUST BE SO HUNGRY!" Papyrus exclaims. And despite the Cinnamon Bunny in your pocket, you accept his offer of spaghetti because **you don't deserve to be happy now** but your stomach rumbles and the familiar scent is already wafting through the air when he starts piling it on a plate for you. " _BONE-_ APPETITE!"

You shake your head at his pun and dig in, ignoring Chara as best you can.

An hour later, while you and Papyrus are seated on the sofa and he's telling you all about the puzzles he's set up for you and an MTT rerun is on in the background, the door opens and Sans walks in.

Initially, he doesn't seem notice you, because he's got a grin on his face and he waves in the direction of Papyrus and says, "hey, bro. lunch smells good," and throws off his slippers into the corner.

Papyrus sighs dramatically and says, "BROTHER! DON'T BE SO SLOPPY IN FRONT OF THE HUMAN!"

Sans freezes on his way to the kitchen.

"oh?"

As oblivious as Papyrus can be at times, he immediately picks up on his brother's tone and he frowns. "SANS?"

"i just remembered, paps," Sans says suddenly. "isn't your cooking lesson with undyne supposed to be around now?"

"IT'S ACTUALLY— UM, I MEAN, YES!! THANKS FOR REMINDING ME!" Papyrus says.

"great," Sans says, finally turning to look at you. "i'll take care of the kid, feed 'em and all that."

 ** _We actually just ate—_** you try to sign, but he turns away.

"WELL!! HAVE... FUN WITH THAT!!" Papyrus exclaims, and then promptly flings himself out the window.

You hope Flowey leaves him alone long enough to get to Undyne's safely.

"so, kid," Sans says. "i don't know what happened earlier, but something weird's going on. i think you and me need to have a little talk. why don't we go down to grillby's?"

You don't dare to argue.

* * *

"alright, kid," Sans says, in that usual cheery tone of his that contradicts the severity of the words he's saying. "i've got a couple questions for ya."

You sit patiently on the barstool, trying not to give away how nervous that statement has already made you feel. **_Okay,_** you sign carefully. **_What's going on?_**

"i really hate to ask this, kiddo, trust me," he begins, "but i gotta know what's going on here." He takes a second to chug his ketchup bottle, then he turns to you, his pupils bright. "what do you know about a talking flower?"

There's a moment of silence that stretches for a terrible number of seconds before you remember to breathe.

He's asked you this question countless times before. Every time you eat lunch with him at Grillby's, every run through, he asks. This is what is supposed to happen.

And you need to tell him about Flowey, you do, but if you bring him up first, there's no way Sans won't get incredibly suspicious...

You disregard how your stomach feels like you've swallowed a live Whimsun; you know what answer he's looking for. **_Yes,_** you tell him **. _The blue echo flowers in Waterf—_**

"yeah, no." Sans shakes his skull once. "that expression on your face... you know exactly what i'm talking about."

You can't seem to make yourself move. The bar begins to fade to black behind you. The skeleton looks at you with his perpetual grin, but there's no humor anywhere in his expression. "heh. i've really gotta hand it to ya, kiddo. i don't know how you did it, but you've convinced everyone in this town— probably the whole underground— with this act of innocence that you've got going on. but i know there's something seriously wrong with you. our readings have been going insane ever since you showed up. the data's all over the charts, and it isn't saying anything good. i'd bet my stash of hot dogs that it's your fault."

You have no idea what to say or do in response to that declaration except sit there silently and hope he doesn't decide to kill you on the spot. Mostly because you know there isn't even a way to defend yourself from his accusation— because it absolutely _is_ your fault. You remember that _very_ clearly.

"there isn't any LOVE in your soul," he adds softly. "i don't know how you managed that, considering—" Suddenly, his eye sockets go completely black. "—you're definitely a murderer."

Then the darkness around the two of you dissolves back into the scene of the restaurant, and the ambient noise of the kitchen and diners fades in with it. When you turn back to Sans, he looks just like his normal self again.

"i'm looking forward to figurin' you out, kid," he says with a wink, like nothing at all is wrong. "don't kill anybody." He hops down from his stool and makes his way toward the door, but turns back to you when he's halfway there. "well. anybody _else,_ " he adds.

And then he's gone.

You consider resetting the timeline. It's an action you hate to take without an extremely good reason— but a murderous skeleton and a maniacal flower seem to fit that description. Unfortunately, there's no way to know how much Sans is going to remember if you do. It may well only serve to alert him to the fact that something is going on. Well, more than he already thinks is happening.

You decide against it. Reloading a SAVE is one thing, but resetting is another. There's no guarantee it will help, and it's risky. Maybe there's still a way to explain the current situation to him in a way that doesn't end with bone shards embedded in your chest.

Somehow, Sans has already found out more about Flowey— that's almost definitely a story that you don't want to hear. Not only does he know that Flowey has been talking to Papyrus, but that Flowey is somehow connected to the shattered timelines, along with yourself. The most important thing, though, now seems to be explaining to Sans that the person who committed those murders, killed your friends— killed _everyone_ —wasn't you, even if right now that's what it looks like. But you have no way to prove that at the moment, and Sans is unlikely to believe you. In addition to that, you have no idea where in the Underground you might be able to find him in order to explain.

So that probably isn't the very best option right now.

The other important thing is figuring out why this reset didn't work like you thought it would.

You had hoped— in some small, isolated, backwater part of your brain— that this reset would fix everything. After all, you had erased the entire world. Surely, that would have been enough to _truly_ start everything over and destroy any evidence of what you had done. But Sans has just crushed that hope. Like any other reset, the monsters still have memories— however faded or vague— of your actions.

 **Oh, they all know,** Chara interjects. **You might as well kill them all again before they kill you, because they are going to kill you, the moment they remember.**

You ignore the whispers as best you can. You'd rather let Sans kill you a thousand more times than hurt a single monster ever again. Out of your limited options this run, killing anyone is not one of them, and it hasn't been since you returned to that black, empty wasteland and begged Chara to give back what they'd wanted you to take away.

And they eventually had given it back. For a price.

(You wonder if that means that the red, glowing heart inside you that appeared when you confronted Papyrus isn't yours, or even real at all. But there are more important things to pay attention to right now, and you decide you can deal with any potential consequences of it later.)

In another life, this would be the point where you'd leave Grillby's and find Sans at home, eat half-frozen spaghetti for dinner with him and Papyrus, and then fall asleep comfortably in the cool-shed-turned-bedroom-shed (which Papyrus promised he'd find a shorter name for eventually).

But you can't go back to that life now.

The eyes of the other inhabitants don't follow you as you leave the restaurant. It doesn't help get rid of the feeling of your sins crawling on your back as you walk into the cold outside.

The snow still storms and swirls around you, obscuring your vision— but there's one thing you can make out in the distance. There is a bright red object lying on the ground, stark against the bone-white snowdrifts, and you think you can feel your stolen SOUL begin to crack as you realize what it is.

Papyrus' scarf stands out like a splash of blood against the snow.

Your first thought is one of utter pain and desolation, because you already killed him once and god, you even if Chara had taken over, you would have remembered, you would have _seen—_

And your second is that this means someone else has killed Papyrus. The likely choice is Flowey— but Sans isn't going to believe that. He didn't recognize Flowey last time, so he isn't even going to know that the flower is the one who murdered his brother.

**You're dead, basically.**

You walk toward the scarf slowly. When you're only inches away, you kneel beside it. The snow soaks the knees of your pants, but even when it's damp and cold enough to hurt, you don't pay any attention to the pain.

 **Wait,** Chara says.

 _Not now_.

**No, I mean, really. I think there's something over there.**

Still clutching the scarf to your chest, you look over to the edge of the trees where Chara is mentally pointing. At first, nothing seems out of place, but then you notice an unusual pattern in the snow beneath the trees.

_What is that?_

**I think...** Chara pauses. **I** **think they're vine trails. And... footprints?**

 _Papyrus is alive!_ you think, and the relief that floods your veins is instantaneous.

**So Flowey didn't kill him. He took him. Why?**

_...I don_ _'t know. But we have to find him._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Fun fact, the Grillby's scene was the very first thing I wrote for this fic. That 3 page one-shot of Sans being kinda scary turned into this 118 page (and counting) fic, somehow. I'm blaming it on monster magic.


	5. Echoed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: aaaaaaaaaaHHHHHHHH I'M TWO DAYS LATE. I'm so sorry lovelies, between college applications and midterms (and maybe planning for NaNoWriMo) I've been swamped! This is shorter than usual too, but it's fully beta'd so it should be okay, not rushed or anything. PLEASE NOTE since this IS November, which as any fellow writing enthusiast knows is the month of Self-Inflicted Suffering for a Good Cause (NaNo!), I will be posting every OTHER Saturday (instead of every Saturday) until December. HOWEVER, winter break is a fabulous time to catch up on writing, so don't worry! Expect lots of awesome and long chapters when we hit December 1, okay? Love y'all!

The eerie silence of Waterfall had once provided a peaceful, comforting place to sit amongst glowing water and water sausages and be alone with your thoughts.

Now, though, that’s the last thing you want to be.

You walk along the corridor, kicking absently at the glowing rocks strewn about the path.

You have Papyrus’ scarf wrapped securely around your neck, because you know that he’s going to want it back as soon as you find him. His battle costume isn’t complete without it. And (in a twisted way), it makes you feel safer, as if he’s following behind you on your trek, cheering you on the whole way. “I BELIEVE IN YOU, HUMAN!! YOU CAN FIND ME!”

**As opposed to what he** **’** **s _actually_ thinking right now, **Chara points out, **which is probably more along the lines of** **“** **HELP, I** **’** **M BEING HELD CAPTIVE BY A PSYCHOFLOWER!** **”**

_I’m going to save him,_ you remind them, but they just cackle in your mind.

**Right, right, I forgot,** they say between gasps of laughter. **Even after everything, you still think you** **’** **re the _hero_ of this story. Don** **’** **t you?**

You don’t dignify that with a response, but you still feel the way your heart clenches tightly in your chest. You know that they’re right; you don’t deserve to think of yourself as a hero. You don’t deserve to think of yourself as worthy of love, worthy of feeling happiness, worthy of forgiveness. You don’t deserve to think of yourself as _human._

Up ahead of you, Monster Kid stands, looking down at the waterfall flowing across the floor, but they turn when they hear your footsteps approach.

“Yo!” they shout happily. “I saw you in Snowdin but I wasn’t allowed to talk to you, haha. But I thought that was dumb, ‘cause you’ve got a striped shirt just like me! So you’ve gotta be a kid, and kids aren’t bad.”

You smile back at them with a nod.

**This kid is just as oblivious as last time, huh?** Chara gives the impression of rolling their eyes. **“** **Aren** **’** **t that bad.** **”** **Ha! If he only knew.**

“My parents don’t know I’m here, so don’t tell them! I wanted to see Undyne… yo! Are you here to see her too?”

Not wanting to disappoint them, you nod. **_She’s really cool._**

Monster Kid doesn’t seem to be paying attention to your signing, instead looking off down the corridor, as if they’re trying to catch a glimpse of Undyne.

You leave them be in their excitement and walk over towards the monster standing by the lone echo flower in the corner.

“This is an echo flower,” they explain. “It repeats the last thing it heard, over and over...” The echo flower repeats his statement in a slightly distorted murmur. “Neat, huh?”

Beside the flower is Sans’ sentry station, which stands empty. You try not to feel disappointed. There’s no reason for him to be sitting around in a station while you’re still alive and walking around in the Underground, posing a threat to everything he’s ever loved. He has better things to do, including finding a way to stop you once and for all.

**Exactly.**

Honestly, it may be in everyone’s best interests to let him.

**Oh, hell no,** Chara protests. **You die, I die. Not gonna happen.** You ignore them and walk past the station, toward the box and the waterfall with the falling rocks.

“and where d’ya think you’re going, kid?”

You flinch, and then slowly (reluctantly) turn around.

Sans is sitting at his station like he’s been there the whole time, leaning against the counter and holding a hot dog in his hand.

“that’s a nice scarf you got there. where’d ya get it?”

Your heart turns leaden and falls into the pit of your stomach. You hadn’t expected Sans to be anywhere near here; you hadn’t expected you’d have to explain.

_How_ do you explain?

**_I need your help,_** you sign.

“yeah? with what?” He doesn’t look concerned, doesn’t look charitable, just suspicious and resigned. His pupils seem focused entirely on the scarf around your neck.

**_Papyrus is gone,_** you explain.

Sans’ focus snaps up to your eyes. “what did you do to him? i swear, kid, you’d better tell me where he is.”

**_I don’t know where he is,_** you insist. **_Someone took him._**

“ _who?”_ he demands, and an image flashes before you, where he’s standing in the same position with the same expression except the light surrounding the two of you is golden and streaming in from windows, and dark shadows streak the walls—

You blink, and the light returns to the dim blue glow of Waterfall.

**_What do you know about a talking flower?_ **

“…at first, i thought it had to be an echo flower that someone was using to play a trick on paps. but… now i don’t think that’s what this is.”

**One point for the trigger-happy weirdo, who finally uses that empty skull of his to come the correct conclusion for once.**

_Chara, don’t be mean._

**…** **You didn** **’** **t seriously just say that, did you?**

Your expression is dark and solemn as you begin to explain to Sans. **_His name is Flowey. He wants to kill me, and make sure I never come back._**

“uh… come back?”

Oh. You thought he had known about the LOADs and SAVEs…

“okay, kid. here’s the deal. most of the things you’ve said since you got here… they don’t make any sense.” He huffs. “and i don’t get it. you’ve killed monsters, i know you have, but i don’t know _how_ i know that, or _why._ and now you’ve killed my brother, but you still have no lv? no exp? and now, here you are, talking about _coming back_ after you’ve been killed—”

Suddenly, his expression goes blank and his pupils flicker off to a point somewhere behind you, unfocused. “… hold on. i— i need to talk to al—” He snaps his eyes back to you. “you’re lying to me. you’re just trying to _mess_ with me, aren’t you?”

**_What?! No!_** you sign, but he’s glaring now, doesn’t care about your protests. Doesn’t _believe_ you.

“i’m going to figure out what the hell you’re doing here, kid. and you really, _honestly_ , think I’m going to believe that a flower, named _Flowey_ , kidnapped my brother? you think i don’t know what you did? you think i’m not going to _kill you_ as soon as i know how to make it so that— what did you say? so that you can _never come back._ ”

And then he disappears from before your eyes without so much as a wink.

 

 


	6. Impaled

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: WHAT? IT'S STILL SATURDAY? OF COURSE IT IS! HA! HA! HA! *ahem* so between NaNoWriMo and the godawful events of November 8, 2016, I haven't had a whole bunch of time/energy/motivation to live-- I mean, write. But hey, this one's almost 3000 words, yay! See ya next Saturday(-or-extended-Saturday-depending)!

Chara sighs internally. **That dumb skeleton doesn** **’** **t know _anything._**

 _He’s not dumb,_ you insist. _He’s a quanatative, uh—_ it takes you a moment to remember the correct word— _quantum physicist. How much do you know about quantum physics, hm?_

 **More than you** , they retort. **You barely even know how to _say_** **“** **quantum physics.** **”**

You emphatically decide not to point out that they’re right, and instead shift the subject to more important matters as you continue down the path. _Sans isn’t the biggest problem right now,_ you remind them. _What are we gonna do about Undyne?_

The way that Chara sneers makes you feel like there’s probably a story there, one that you don’t really want to hear if you can help it. (Well, maybe one day. But it may not be such a great idea to bring it up at this exact second.) **You realize that Fish Lady is gonna kick your ass when she realizes Papyrus isn** **’** **t around, right?**

Of course you realize; you were there last time it happened, after all. But at the very least, this time he’s only _missing,_ not _dead,_ so there’s no way for her to blame you ( **I bet she finds a way** ) for his absence. In fact, if you can convince her that Flowey took Papyrus, she would be really helpful in finding wherever they may be.

As you cross the waterfall with the falling rocks, you dodge a particularly large one and duck to the left. **What are you doing?!** Chara screeches as you veer through what looks to be a solid wall of rock under the waterfall, but once you pass under the torrent, there is not rock but a small, nearly empty room. **…** **oh yeah,** Chara says sheepishly. **Forgot this was here.**

You walk forward between the two patches of glowing blue mushrooms toward the pink, tattered ballerina’s tutu lying forgotten against the damp wall of the tiny cavern. As you pick it up and begin to carefully put your feet through its opening, one at a time, Chara huffs impatiently. **Do you really need to waste our time with this? Aren** **’** **t you good enough at dodging by now that you don** **’** **t need it?**

You shrug. _I think it’s cute_ , you say, and you can’t help but giggle silently at the frustrated noise that Chara makes in response.  When you go back through the waterfall, Chara mumbles bitterly about how long it will take for your sweater to dry, but honestly it doesn’t bother you. Chara can stand to be damp and miserable for a bit.

You already know what’s going to come next as you step forward, but you still can’t stop yourself from freezing solid in fear at the first clanking footstep that echoes around the cavernous hall. Then another rings out behind it, and another. Your entire body flinches at the third sound, and that seems to be enough to un-paralyze you from that spot, so you make a mad dash toward the tall grass in front of you.

You force yourself not to look up; Undyne is just above you, you know, standing on a higher level of rocks, waiting for Papyrus to approach her and deliver his report while she patrols.

He doesn’t.

"Papyrus..." she murmurs, just barely loud enough to reach your ears. "Where are you...?"

You can't help but flinch when she says it, and the movement is just enough to faintly rustle the grass around you.

She must hear you, because there's the horrible sound of metal scraping against itself as she whirls around. Another clank, and another, and then the unmistakable sound of Undyne summoning her magical ( **very very sharp and pointy and scary** ) spear reverberates around you.

You don’t even dare to breathe for fear that Undyne might be able to see the grass flutter again if you do. Even Chara stays uncharacteristically silent once they realize how close Undyne is. Your eyes are screwed tightly shut, and generally Chara would make some snide comment like “ **You** **’** **re not three; the** **‘** **if I can** **’** **t see you, you can** **’** **t see me** **’** **rule does _not_ apply here.**” The fact that they don’t take the opportunity to mock you just makes the situation that much more unsettling.

The moment of tense silence seems to stretch on for hours and you hold your muscles so still that they start to shake, and your face turns blue from the effort of keeping in your breath.

Finally, _finally,_ there’s the sound of the spear fading as Undyne either decides you aren’t worth it or can’t find any sign of your presence. There are a few more _clank_ s as she stomps away, but you don’t release your breath until the footsteps have receded entirely.

The air whooshes out of you all at once, and you immediately inhale violently to re-oxygenate your lungs, which are currently protesting your mistreatment of them by _hurting a lot_ , but you did just put them through quite the strenuous task, so you don’t really blame them.

There’s a SAVE point just on the other side of the grass. When you reach it, you take a moment to breathe in and out a few times, but you don’t let yourself rest any more than that. You’ve still got a skeleton to find.

The gap in the stone walkway begins to materialize in the distance, and Chara grumbles something about how dumb the bridge seeds are, and why does it have to be so tedious, and _they_ didn’t have to do the bridge seed puzzle when _they_ were in charge. You decide not to point out that Flowey had completed the puzzle for them in the hopes that they would decide not to kill him, and that didn’t really count as a good excuse.

The flowers blossom in front of you as soon as you touch the final one’s petal to the water beside the others. You’ve never quite been able to figure out _how,_ exactly, the bridge seeds work. When you hold them, they seem like normal lily pads and flower petals that should not be able to support the weight of a human child, and there doesn’t seem to be any explanation as to _how_ they know when to blossom, exactly.

 **Magic,** Chara says, like this should have been obvious. **Duh.**

 _That isn’t really an explanation,_ you protest, but Chara just says, **Well, it is down here.**

After tiptoeing across the flower bridge (because you _know_ they will hold you, but you can’t help but step as lightly as possible as you cross them), you brush your fingers along the cracks and ridges in the wall as you walk. Waterfall is always cold and damp, and the rocks that form the walls of the caverns are no exception. Chara gives off the impression of making a face at the sensation, but it’s comforting to you to feel the chilled, smooth, solid rock beneath your fingertips.

And then a shirtless seahorse jumps out in front of you, and you can’t help but startle, especially as he winks and you and begins to pose.

 **Aaron flexes in!** Chara commentates, snickering when they notice your reaction to his sudden appearance. **This guy is such a douchebag.**

_“I’m going to tell Mom!” a small boy’s voice shouts in indignation. The child sitting across from him just laughs._

_“Tell her what, that you’re a whiny crybaby who likes to tattletale?” the child taunts._

_“No!” the boy protests. “She said you aren’t supposed to say those bad words!” he insists. “So I’m gonna tell her that you did, and you’re gonna get in trouble!”_

_“’Douchebag’ isn’t even that bad of a word,” they scoff._

_The boy gasps in horror. “You said it_ again! _” he squeaks, and then runs off screeches for his mother._

_“Azzy, wait—!” the child calls, and rushes after him down the hall to catch him before he can get to his destination—_

Chara is silent as the vision— memory— abruptly fades away and reality returns. You pause for a moment, wondering if there is anything you can say or do to make them feel better, or if maybe it would be more prudent to just stay silent. _I…_

 **Aaron** **’** **s still winking at you,** Chara interrupts quickly. **Better kill him before he starts hitting on you.**

But there’s no heat behind their words, like they only mean it as a distraction from what just happened, rather than a true suggestion for murder. You take the hint and don’t try to bring up the memory again (but you definitely don’t plan to forget about it entirely.

Aaron flexes his biceps at you. “Come on in, the water’s fine ;)” he says.

Chara makes a gagging sound and you try your hardest not to giggle at it. You wave at Aaron, who winks in response.

You flex your own still-damp, sweater-clad arm in his direction. It’s basically the diameter of a twig, with about as much muscle on it as a chicken foot, but Aaron doesn’t seem to care.

“Flexing contest?” the merhorse drawls. “Okay, flex more ;)”

 **Aaron flexes twice as hard,** Chara points out. **Think you can beat that?**

You flex harder!

“Whew, I’m sweating ;)” Aarons says, slightly out of breath as he tries to match the feat of your flexing (which, honestly, is not that difficult to match).

 **It smells like an underwater barnyard,** Chara complains. **Beat him already.**

You steel yourself and put all of the effort you can muster into your flex this time, not only tensing your arm muscles but every ounce of your body.

“I sure do love muscles ;)” he says, and then flexes his arm muscles so hard that you’re momentarily frightened that they might explode.

 **Umm** **…** **Aaron flexes very hard** **…** **He flexes himself out of the room!** Chara announces.

You smile fondly at the sight of Aaron retreating through the door, still clenching his biceps with all his might in fierce concentration.

Chara is speechless in the wake of the encounter.

 _What?_ you ask. _He’s not even the oddest monster I know._

 **No, it** **’** **s not that,** Chara says with a mental shake of their head. **I just** **…** **I think that** **’** **s the first time I** **’** **ve run into that guy without killing him first.**

You pause, because you’re really not sure what to say to that.

_…Oh. Okay._

Without further comment, you walk forward into the next room.

You absently start to align the bridge seeds so you can reach the other side of the docks. You find no reason to spend time retrieving the abandoned quiche (because Chara would just complain even more if you did), and don’t bother to try and reach the signpost, either. You already know what it says.

 **Bit nihilist there, aren** **’** **tcha?** Chara says. **What** **’** **s with the whole** **“** **everything is pointless** **”** **vibe?**

You simply shrug. _It_ is _pretty pointless if you’re eventually going to make me kill everyone again, isn’t it? I’ll just have to reset again._

 **Ha! Yeah, okay, that** **’** **s true,** Chara laughs. **But you** **’** **re gonna make it so unsatisfying if you don** **’** **t even fight _back._ **

You just shrug again, climbing across the bridge seeds as they sprout and connect the pathways.

Chara is quiet for a second, then adds, **Um, hey, kid. You know that I was mostly just kidding, right?**

_… Yeah. Sure._

You absentmindedly stop in front of the entrance to the next part of the caves, and it takes you a minute to realize why.

This is where Papyrus is supposed to call you.

Except, he can’t now. You didn’t get a cellphone from Toriel, but it doesn’t matter, because it isn’t like Papyrus could call you anyway.

 **Yeah, torture chambers run by Psychopetals probably don** **’** **t have cell service,** Chara remarks.

The mere concept of Papyrus in a _torture chamber_ is enough to make your stomach turn, and you try to hold back the sudden wave of nausea that washes over you. What kind of _awful_ things is Flowey doing to Papyrus as you stand there in Waterfall, helpless to save him? How much suffering has he been through? _Why_ would Flowey want to take him, of all monsters?

 **Hey, whoa,** Chara interjects. **It was a joke. Calm down.**

You frown, using the edge of your sweater sleeve to wipe tears off of your face. _But it’s true,_ you point out. _So it’s not a joke. Flowey is probably doing all sorts of horrendous things—_

 **Alright, kid,** Chara interrupts. **I think you need to take a break.**

 _There’s no_ time, you insist. _What if we finally get there only— only to see there’s just a pile of dust left and Papyrus has been dead since we left Snowdin, and Flowey just wanted to watch as I tried my hardest to save him, and all he does is that horrible laugh until he steals my soul and takes over the entire Underground and then the surface?_

 **…** **dude.** Chara seems shell-shocked by your outburst. **You sound as pessimistic as me. Chill out.**

 _I  c a n ‘ t,_ you say, and even though it’s just in your head, it sounds more like a sob.

 **Okay, in the interest of making sure you don** **’** **t just sit down right here and end up starving to death or something because you didn** **’** **t want to keep going, I** **’** **m gonna give you some advice,** Chara says.

You sniffle. _Why would I listen to you?_

 **Because what the hell _else_ are you gonna do? **they snap.

_…Okay. What do I do?_

_**That feeling, the one of utter hopelessness and fear and anxiety, you shove it straight under your ribs. When it** _ _**’** _ _**s in your head and your chest like this, you can** _ _**’** _ _**t think, and you can** _ _**’** _ _**t breathe, and nothing gets done because it** _ _**’** _ _**s so overwhelming. So just shove it back behind your stomach, and forget about it. You** _ _**’** _ _**ll inevitably have to deal with it again later, but for the moment, it keeps it out of the way. You** _ _**’** _ _**ve got enough problems as it is without adding dysfunctional emotions to the pile.** _

_…. You seem to have some experience with this,_ you say, because it’s the only response you can think of.

 **Shut up,** Chara advises, and you listen.

Hoping that their advice will be enough to help, you close your eyes and breathe in slowly. You envision all of your worries and anxiety compressing into a single ball, and then imagine yourself hiding it deep within yourself.

You breathe out.

 **Better?** Chara asks.

 _Better enough,_ you reply, and then you walk through the doorway to the rest of the cavern.

A telescope awaits you in the narrow hall beyond, but you don’t need to look through it to discover the secret passage through the wall to the north. (There’s something depressing about the fact that most of the novelties of this world, the quirks and secrets you had loved about it for so long, are now useless to you. All they do now is take up your time.)

As you begin to cross the piece of bridge that moves with you (like one of those moving sidewalks you’d seen in an airport, once, except this one is short and made of wood and _floating in the middle of nothing_ ), you develop a sudden urge to lean far, far over the edge, to look down into that black abyss, maybe even take just a tiny step off of the platform—

 _Chara!_ you chide. _Stop it!_

 **Sorry,** they explain, sounding not sorry at all. **L** **’** **appel du vide. Call of the void, and all that.**

You aren’t _entirely_ sure what this means, but you figure it’s okay because most of the time it’s better to just not ask questions if Chara says something you don’t understand.

You make it to the other side of the chasm without further incident, though you notice Chara seems slightly put out, so you ask if they’re alright. _You aren’t upset that I—_

And then suddenly, a glowing blue spear shoots up from the ground in front of you.

 **SHIT!** Chara shouts, and you don’t bother to spare the time or mental capacity to correct them, because you’re running for your life to avoid getting impaled by the various magical spears that Undyne seems to be summoning in no particular pattern. Instead of offering advice on which way to go, Chara’s only contribution to the situation is **AGHHHHHH WHAT THE F** **—**

You turn your head just slightly upward to look at Undyne, whose glowing eye underneath her armor helmet is honestly as terrifying as it was the first time you saw it. You want to tell her that what she thinks is going on is wrong, you didn’t kill Papyrus, you would never— **you did—** and that you need her help to save him—

And as soon as you take your attention off of the path in front of you for that split millisecond, it isn’t another heartbeat before one of the spears stabs through your foot.

It hurts as if someone covered your entire lower leg in gasoline and then lit it on fire, but then Undyne doesn’t stop there. Since your foot is attached to the dock now, you can’t run. There’s no way to dodge when she flings another flurry of spears at you, and they rip through your body like it’s Jell-O instead of human flesh.

Chara screams— in pain? anger? triumph? — as you begin to fall.


	7. Speared

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I've never realized how much stuff happens between entering Waterfall and actually fighting Undyne. Like. Holy cow. The whole Waterfall thing was supposed to take up one chapter, maybe two... and yet, here we are. Oops. Ah, well, this chapter has a great bit of foreshadowing for some future overarching plot points... They're probably pretty obvious to all the wonderfully smart and observant readers like you, though. :)
> 
> Enjoy!

You LOAD at the SAVE point beside the first patch of grass you had come across.

Chara groans. **That was significantly worse than getting killed by Flowey,** they say.

_Oh, really?_ you respond. _How do you think I felt fighting Sans?_

That shuts them up pretty quickly.

Trudging through the caverns between Undyne and the SAVE point is tedious, but not as bad as it had been to walk through the caves **back and forth and back and forth and back and forth and back and forth** endlessly to find new victims until you were absolutely certain that every living creature was gone.

You see Woshua this time around, scrubbing violently at a tiny speck of dirt on the cavern wall, muttering “Green means clean, green means clean” as it works. The small bird sitting with it chirps happily.

You smile as Woshua finishes scrubbing and then turns to you with a look of suspicion. “Wosh u face” it says cautiously. “Wosh u hand”

**_Clean!_** you sign, even though you know Woshua can’t understand hands. It still seems to get the message and begins to bounce happily.

**You ask Woshua to clean you. It hops around excitedly,** Chara says, and you think they’re holding back a laugh.

“Green means clean” it says again, and soaks you in soapy water drops.

When you’re sufficiently cleaned to Woshua’s standards, you reach out to pet it gently, but it pulls away immediately. “YUCK!” it shouts, and you retreat, slightly hurt by his rejection. You had made sure to get every green drop…

“Your SOUL is unclean,” it announces, and you freeze.

Chara is silent.

“So dirty,” it continues. “Not even green can clean”

You just look down at your hands, and for a brief, flashing moment, you can see the grey streaks of dust across them. Then you blink and it’s gone.

“If I could, I’d erase the world,” it says, out of nowhere, and the sudden and unexpected statement makes Chara bark out a single, baffled laugh in surprise. “Everything in it is so dirty” Woshua continues. Then it sees the horrified expression on your face and shakes its head. “Ohhh. Don’t get the wrong idea. I don’t want anyone to die. When people die, they turn into dust and that’s hard to clean up.”

**No kidding,** Chara says, still bemused.

You stand in stunned silence, and Woshua adds, “Don’t turn to dust.”

**Didn** **’** **t plan on it, buddy,** Chara replies.

Woshua ambles away to find another speck of dirt on the walls, mumbling absently.

You move on.

Chara doesn’t mention anything about the encounter, for which you are grateful. Neither of you brings it up as you retrace your steps to where Undyne is waiting.

 

*                             *                             *

 

This time, you’ve vigorously prepared yourself (mentally _and_ physically) so that as soon as the blue warning lights appear around your feet, you’re ready to run for your life.

The first spear passes within two inches of your ear, and the second whizzes just over your shoulder. Adrenaline sends your limbs into a frenzy and you dive out of the way just in time to avoid the third, which hurtles through the space your head had been moments ago.

**Left!** Chara says, and without thinking, you listen. The next spears fly to your right.

_Thanks,_ you spare the energy to think, but then more spears are tearing through the air at you, and you have to keep running.

**Who built this damn dock?** Chara demands, and you don’t have time to tell them that _really doesn’t matter right now_. **I mean, up and down and up and down, it** **’** **s a random zig-zag! Did Fish Lady build it specifically to make it harder to dodge her spears? Is this where she always ambushes humans?**

The buzz of adrenaline in your brain and the pounding of your heart in your ears partially drowns out their voice, but it’s still enough to be distracting.

_SH!_

The patch of grass is just meters away from you now, so all you have to do is make _just a bit further—_

The grass envelops you as you dodge another of Undyne’s spears, and you don’t stop to catch your breath until you’re positive she won’t see you. More spears zoom above your head, barely skimming the tops of the grass leaves, and thank goodness you’re short enough that you don’t have to duck to stay beneath them.

The spears stop once you’ve ceased moving and gone silent. After a moment, you can hear the clanking of Undyne’s armor again and the rustling of the grass as she marches toward you.

You know that this is where she picks up Monster Kid and leaves you alone. You _know_ that’s what happens, because you’ve lived through this moment who-knows-how-many times, and even when Chara had been whispering in your head and you’d listened and killed all those people, Undyne never changed what happened here—

There is no sickening _thud_ that is supposed to come when Undyne grabs Monster Kid and hauls them off back to “safety.” There is no frustrated huff from her, or giddy excited squeals from Monster Kid. There is only that harsh silence, and the urge to glance over the tops of the grass fronds to see if she’s still there.

**Don** **’** **t be stupid,** Chara chides immediately. **Of course she** **’** **s still there. She** **’** **d never just leave an enemy alone unless it put someone else in danger.**

And that sounds… oddly logical, coming from the disembodied voice of a psychopathic child that exists solely in your mind, but you know they’re right.

You don’t move.

The silence lasts long enough this time that you have to breathe in order to avoid passing out an inevitably being caught and killed, but you make sure every breath you take is silent.

Suddenly, startling you as she breaks the silence, Undyne speaks.

“Human. I know you’re here. You only hide because you are a _coward_ ,” she spits. “I can’t hurt you here. I need to make sure that Monster Kid is safe. From _you_ , especially. But you have my word, human, I will _kill you_ as soon as I do that.”

That is most definitely _not_ what she’s supposed to say here.

“Sans warned me about you,” she continues, and your heart drops into your stomach. Sans is supposed to be on _your side_ this time. You haven’t even done anything wrong.

**This time,** Chara reminds you quietly. **And I don** **’** **t think he cares a whole lot about _which_ timeline you murdered him and all his friends in.**

“He told me you’ve killed monsters,” she says angrily. “He told me _you killed Papyrus.”_ And as much as you know she’s trying to be tough and intimidating, she can’t hide the way her voice cracks on his name. She breathes deeply. “So believe me when I say I will hunt you down, and I will make you suffer as much as the innocent people you’ve hurt have suffered because of you.”

And with that, she clanks away.

You tremble, still hidden in the grass. It seems to have become very difficult to muster the energy or motivation to move.

**Well?** Chara says after a minute. **Are we still on a mission to save the Dork Skeleton or not?**

At your silence, Chara sighs.

**Oh, okay, I see what** **’** **s up,** they say grimly. **You** **’** **re having a Hero Crisis.** **“** **Oh, no, I** **’** **m morally obligated to do a thing but I don** **’** **t think I** **’** **m _worthy_ because I** **’** **ve done something _bad_ in my life, like _every other human being ever!_** ** _”_**

_Every other human being hasn’t committed the murder of everyone they love,_ you point out softly.

Chara mentally shrugs. **I have, and now you have. That** **’** **s at least two of us. So you aren** **’** **t alone or anything.**

**Look. I don** **’** **t wanna have to deal with the amount of self-loathing and angst that you** **’** **re inevitably gonna go through if you let Papyrus die, okay?** Chara says sharply. **So either you pull yourself together and we get on with this mess, or I** **’** **ll shove us into the lava in Hotland myself.**

You wipe at a stray tear that managed to escape down your cheek. _You wouldn’t,_ you say. _You already told me not to die. You’re not gonna kill me._

Chara huffs. **I don** **’** **t care. Whatever. I** **’** **m trying to motivate you to get off your ass and save the day so I don** **’** **t have to deal with your whining, okay?**

And despite the fact that this sounds strangely non-malicious and actually _decent_ to be coming from Chara, you sniffle once and then brush your way through the grass to the other side. _Okay,_ you agree. _I’m going._

**Good,** Chara grumps. **I hope you fail miserably.**

And you think the best part is, it’s almost _obvious_ how much they don’t even really mean it anymore.

 

*             *             *

 

You pass by the magical crystal that has consumed that poor mice’s cheese, and the echo flower beside it, heading straight for the SAVE point.

**Thank god,** Chara sighs. **I don** **’** **t wanna do that again.**

_Me neither,_ you agree. _Undyne is a great friend, but it’s not so much fun to be on the other side of her spear…_

**Friend?** Chara scoffs. **Do you really think you get to call her that, after everything?**

You really don’t deserve to call her that anymore, you realize. Not when you can still vividly remember how she dove in front of Monster Kid, sacrificing her life for theirs, and how her determination pulled her back together. How her scales began to melt into her armor and then her hair and then she was nothing but an amalgamated pile of dust—

**_knock knock knock_ **

The sound interrupts your thoughts. You pause.

_…did you hear that?_

**Um, yeah. I think it came from the wall** **…** **?** Chara replies, confused.

You wait for a moment, and it comes again.

**_knock knock knock_ **

It does seem to be coming from the cave wall to your left, but that’s impossible. There’s nothing behind it except rock, so there can’t be anything back there. Even if a ghost could get through the rock, they wouldn’t have anything corporeal to knock with…

**What the hell?** Chara says. **Do you remember this ever happening here before?**

You just shake your head, bewildered. _No. But that seems to be a common thing this time around…_

After staring at the wall in silence for another handful of minutes, you determine that the knocking has stopped.

**That was _so_ weird, **Chara finally says, breaking the silence.

You nod in agreement.

_I think we should keep going. If we hear it again later, we can investigate. Or we can ask Gerson about it._

**Gerson?**

Of course Chara wouldn’t know his name. They’d never bothered to ask, though it’s not like Gerson ever would have told them anyway.

_The old turtle who runs the shop in Waterfall,_ you explain. _One of the oldest monsters in the Underground._

Chara growls, startling you. **Oh yeah,** they snarl. **That cantankerous old tortoise. He just needs to hurry up and turn to dust already. He** **’** **s close enough to dropping dead anyway. If I can** **’** **t kill him myself** **‘** **cause he** **’** **s a coward who won** **’** **t leave his shop, I** **’** **ll at least take pleasure in knowing he got taken out by _being old_ , of all things. **They snicker mischievously, like they’re talking about nothing worse than a mean prank instead of delighting in stone-cold murder.

Not that you really have the ability to call yourself surprised by this, just… sad.

_Gerson wants nothing but to keep monsters safe_ , you insist. _Why do you hate him so much?_

Chara laughs. **Are you forgetting who you** **’** **re talking to, Frisk?** they ask sarcastically. **I convinced you to kill everyone you love. _Hate_ is what I do. _Hate_ is what I know.**

_It doesn’t have to be—_ you try to tell them, but somehow, even though they possess no physical form, you can tell they’ve already turned away and stopped listening to you. It’s even more pointless to try and convince Chara that they can be happy than it had been to try and convince Flowey.

_…Alright,_ you concede, knowing that pursuing this topic now isn’t going to get you anything but a sulking, angry Chara, which you definitely don’t want to deal with. _Let’s just go._

 

 

 


	8. Dumped

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I PROMISE THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL HAVE THE UNDYNE FIGHT. I'M SO MAD WATERFALL IS TAKING SO LONG I'M SORRY. *ahem* Anyway. Hello! Happy post-Thanksgiving. Hope you all indulged in enough wonderful mashed potatoes and some pumpkin pie to put yourself in a food coma, 'cause I know that's what I did. And if you don't celebrate Thanksgiving, I hope you had an awesome weekend! Finals week is coming up for most of you guys, so stay strong, lovelies! I was gonna say "get off the internet and go study" but I think fanfic counts as a justifiable mental-health break. ;) Enjoy!  
> (and I don't know if I said this before, but 1. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR THE COMMENTS AND KUDOS I LOVE THEM AND I LOVE YOU AND THEY MAKE ME SO HAPPY and 2. if you see any mistakes or typos please tell me! I would hate to leave any in here on accident because my editing eyes are old and weary)

Sans’ telescope is abandoned, with the lazy skeleton nowhere in sight around it.

Even though it really shouldn’t, it tugs at your heart to see it there without him. His love of puns and practical jokes had been a constant light in your life, as you went through his world over and over and over again, trying but always failing to get the monsters their happy ending. Sans kept you going; Sans gave you hope and happiness and something to look forward to every time you had to hit that dreaded RESET button.

And then you killed him.

He was back now, of course, perfectly fine and healthy— except, not fine, because he could somehow _remember_ bits and pieces, and he sees right through every single lie you’ve told him.

_“I haven’t killed anyone!”_

**_Liar. You killed them all, and you liked it._ **

_“I won’t hurt anyone, I promise!”_

**_LIAR. It’s your fault Papyrus is gone._ **

_“I don’t want to do this!”_

**_L I A R. YOU CHOSE TO._ **

It doesn’t take you more than another moment to realize that the voice responding to you isn’t Chara’s, but your own.

Even your _own_ mind is turned against you now. Or— even your own mind realizes what a terrible being you are, and just wants you to admit it…

**Ever heard of cognitive distortions?** Chara butts in (and you never thought you’d be grateful to say this, but it _is_ definitely Chara’s voice this time).

You scrunch up your face as you try to remember if you’ve ever heard of something called “cognitive distortion,” but draw a blank. Those are pretty big words.

_No,_ you say. _Why?_

Chara hums. **Oh, just wondered. But I** **’** **m not gonna explain it if you don** **’** **t already know.**

You frown at that— you _like_ to know things, and _dislike_ being kept in the dark— but this is Chara, and odds are, they’re just saying it to mess with you, and it really doesn’t matter anyway so right now you really should be focusing on finding Papyrus.

You walk through marshland covered in an eerie blue light, surrounded by glowing water and echo flowers and water sausages, by lily pads and luminescent grass and black wooden bridges. You don’t stop to listen to the echo flowers. They just make you sad, now.

You walk past the cavern that normally contains the Nice Cream guy and his cart of frozen treats, because the odds are that if Undyne knows you’re there and Sans has warned her that you’re dangerous, most of the monsters won’t have stuck around to see if he’s right. And **as stupid as it seems,** you don’t know if you’d be able to handle it if you looked inside that cavern and saw that even the Nice Cream guy didn’t have enough faith in you to stay.

Not that you’ve ever given him a reason to have faith in you, of course.

You just think it’s better not to know for certain if he’s gone, instead of checking and having it confirmed that no one here trusts you in the slightest.

Woshua and Aaron have probably even gotten the word by now to get out of town, and that’s such an upsetting thought that you push it to the edge of your mind as soon as it arises.

The thing you don’t want to think but that still surfaces is _this is turning out just like last time, only you’re just a bit slower to get started with the killing._

When you move on, Onionsan isn’t there.

The hallway is long and dark, and each of your footsteps echoes back hauntingly across the smooth expanse of unoccupied water. You wonder if you’ll ever get a chance to apologize— to Sans, to Papyrus, to Undyne, to anyone— or if you’re doomed to spend the rest of this life wandering alone, just like last time, until your resolve not to kill runs out and Chara will be able to manipulate you once again…

You’re watching the way your feet tread light over the rocks on the cave floor, trying to avoid stepping on any grass, and that’s why you aren’t paying attention when you collide with Shyren.

Shyren squeaks in panic and jumps, and you take a step back in surprise.

**_Sorry!_** you sign, and though she probably doesn’t understand the gesture, she understands the intent.

“So-Re,” she hums as a returned apology, and you smile at her.

_At least_ she _hadn’t left you here._

“So-La-Mi-Re,” you answer, humming hoarsely since you haven’t used your voice in so long. Speaking has never been an option, of course, but you can laugh and hum in some situations ( **and scream, if necessary** ).

“Si-Re Si-Re, Si-Mi Si-Mi,” she continues for you, and she exposes her sharp needle-like teeth as she begins to smile. You wave your arms to the beat of her song.

**You conduct,** Chara narrates. And then, a pause. **…** ** _But nobody came._**

You realize that there is no one left in Waterfall that can (or wants to) come to your concert, and your blood runs chiller in your veins.

You lower your arms. Shyren stops humming, still smiling expectantly, waiting for your next conduction.

But you give her an apologetic look and then simply spare her. What’s the point, if there’s no audience? You’ve hummed enough to make her happy. You don’t have any time to waste singing a song no one will hear if it means Papyrus is in more danger.

You refuse to meet Shyren’s eyes as she glides away with her talent agent, because you don’t want to see if there is disappointment in her gaze. When she’s fully out of sight around the corner, you move on.

You pick up an umbrella to place on the poor statue that’s always being rained on, if only to hear the pleasant music-box tune echo through the cavern as you walk. It’s better than the bone-chilling silence. You’ve always wondered what it is, exactly, that makes the music play only if the statue is dry, but so far you’ve yet to find an answer, and Chara doesn’t offer one, either.

The notes ring out gently behind you as you continue on your way. They don’t really help lessen the haunting feeling of the deserted halls.

**_I_** ** _’_** ** _m_** **not scared of a few empty hallways,** Chara says. And then, with a bit of further consideration, **unless that knocking comes back. That would be scary.**

_Thanks for reminding me about that,_ you sigh.

“Yo!” a voice calls out, and you watch as Monster Kid pops out of an alcove in front of you.

**How the hell do they do that?!** Chara demands. **Where do they even come from** **…** **?!**

“You can't hold an umbrella either? If you're walking anyway, I guess I'll go with you, haha...” they say cheerfully.

You look at them suspiciously.

“What…?” they say. “Oh, why am I here if Undyne sent me home? Haha! I always find a way.” They snicker mischievously, and you make a mental note to actually figure out what that way is, eventually.

You keep walking, knowing that Monster Kid will follow you. After a few moments of walking in silence with only the distant music box as background noise, they speak up. “Man, Undyne is sooooooo cool. She beats up bad guys and NEVER loses. If I was a human, I would wet the bed every night... knowing she was gonna beat me up! Haha.”

It shouldn’t hurt; Monster Kid clearly doesn’t mean it as an insult, or at least not an insult to _you_ , since they don’t have any idea that you are human yourself, but it still stings. Mostly because they’re right, you _are_ terrified, and you have no right to be when you deserve every bit of pain that comes your way.

“Yo,” Monster Kid adds, when you don’t say anything. “Don’t worry. She wouldn’t hurt _you!_ You’re my friend! And she would never hurt an innocent person anyway.”

**No, she wouldn** **’** **t,** Chara whispers, a barely audible buzz in the back of your mind. **But that doesn** **’** **t really help us right now.**

Monster Kid doesn’t notice that you aren’t reassured, and starts to pick up their pace. “Hey, we’re almost at the castle!” they announce. “C’mon!”

The ambient light around you begins to fade from dark gloom in the unlighted hallway to the harsh purple-ish turquoise that emanates from the castle in the distance. The rocks and boulders lining the path seem larger and sharper than usual, and the shadows that the light casts from them are menacing and severe.

You walk past it as quickly as your tiny legs will take you, trying not to look out at the silhouette of the castle and the sparkling star-stones above it. Monster Kid pauses behind you, looking up in awe. You don’t stop for them, and after a moment you hear, “Yo, hey! Wait up!”

They catch up to you just as you pass the rock marking the end of the cavern of stars, and by the time you make it to the ledge that you can’t climb alone, they’re panting pretty hard. You look up the ledge in disappointment, knowing Monster Kid can’t follow you past it, and from here on, you’ll be on your own.

Monster Kid looks up at it too, thinking hard. “Hmm… yo! You wanna see Undyne, right?”

Even though it’s not actually true, you nod slowly.

“Alright,” Monster Kid says, already decided. “Climb on my shoulders.”

Carefully, making sure to avoid stepping on their spikes or bruises, you lift yourself up onto their shoulders and climb onto the ledge. Your hands scrape a bit on the rock, but you make it onto the plateau.

You turn back to them, not wanting to say goodbye quite yet.

“Yo, you go on ahead,” they say nonchalantly. “Don’t worry about me. I always find a way to get through!”

**Wait!** Chara interjects suddenly. **Can** **’** **t they just use the umbrella bucket and climb up here with you?**

Your eyes widen in realization. _Um, yeah. Why didn’t I think of that?_

Monster Kid is still within sight (having been slowed by tripping over nothing and falling down repeatedly), so you raise your hands and wave them frantically. When they don’t turn around, you stomp your foot hard on the rock, but the resounding _thump_ doesn’t travel far enough. You open your mouth to shout— as always, it’s just silence.

Monster Kid disappears around the corner.

**Re- _jected_ , **Chara says, in a voice similar to that of a cheesy gameshow host.

You shouldn’t feel like crying, but you can’t help it. You swallow the building lump in your throat to hold back the tears.

**Do I have to call you a crybaby _again?_** Chara laments. **Jeez.**

You sniffle, and try to make your expression angry, but it falls flat.

_I’m— I’m fine,_ you insist.

Chara gives you the mental equivalent of an eye roll. **Just go to the SAVE point already,** they sigh.

_I’m going,_ you huff grumpily.

_*The serene sound of a distant music box… It fills you with determination._

You take a deep breath. Ahead of you, the rock cavern falls away to the wooden slats of the dock where Undyne is going to attack you again, like always. You stand there for a moment, looking straight ahead.

**Uh, hello?** Chara says. **Are you not on a schedule? Let** **’** **s go already!**

_I can’t. I’m… I’m scared._

You expect Chara to laugh at you derisively; you expect them to mock you, call you a crybaby, scoff at your fear.

Instead, they sigh. **You think I enjoy getting nearly skewered like a kabob?** they say. **If you weren** **’** **t scared, I** **’** **d think you** **’** **d lost your mind completely.**

_…oh._ You don’t entirely know how to respond to that. _I… Chara…_

**Don** **’** **t get sappy on me now, Frisk,** they snap. **I didn** **’** **t mean it like that. You _are_ still a crybaby.**

You can tell most of the heat behind their words is absent, though. _Sappy as maple syrup,_ you tease, giggling silently.

Chara sulks. **Oh, shut u** **—** ** _shit, look out!_**

It only takes you a split second to take in Chara’s warning, and you duck to the side just as Undyne’s spears pop up through the dock beneath you. You hadn’t even _realized_ you were standing on the dock, could have _sworn_ you were still back in the cave—

But there’s no time to contemplate that now. You have to keep moving, keep running, because Undyne and her magic are everywhere at once, a tangible electricity in the air every time the spears shoot up through the wooden floor.

It is surprisingly easy to get lost in this dock maze, despite having attempted to complete it a dozen times before in other timelines. Something about the adrenaline of the moment screams _RUN!_ but forgets to tell you _in which direction._

**UH, RIGHT?** Chara shouts suddenly. Without thinking, you follow their instructions.

_What now?!_

**Two more rights, I think?**

_IS THAT A QUESTION?!_

**Sorry, uh** **…** **! All the way down and another right! Now left! Left again!**

You realize with a heartbeat of relief that following Chara blindly has led you to the widest part of the platform, where it’s just a straight shot across the open dock to the end, _if_ you can make it that far without getting speared like a fish.

**Appropriate enough simile,** Chara comments, and you mentally scowl.

_Unintentional!_ you retort, but if Chara responds, you don’t hear it, because you’re focusing on _not dying_ while you make a mad dash to the other side of the dock.

The spears appear around you like violently sprouting, blue-glowing trees, and you have to weave between them as they shoot up, trying not to touch any.

_AGH!_ You can’t scream out loud, but the sound in your brain is equivalent enough to convey the message, at least to Chara and yourself.

You barely brush past a spear as the path narrows again in front of you. _Made it!_ you say triumphantly to Chara.

**Um, no, wait** **—** **!** they protest, just as you turn around.

Undyne stands there, blocking your only escape, the way you just came. The dock behind you _ends_ , just drops off into nowhere.

_Oh, right,_ you think meekly. _Forgot about this part._

Undyne swings her spear up, and then smashes it into the dock.

It trembles, and you stumble a few steps, and then your feet aren’t on the dock anymore, because it’s falling and so are you, down and down and down—

Your mind dissolves into another memory.


	9. Remembered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Soooooooo this is a bit of a different chapter. You'll see what I mean. Umm, language warning because Chara is a poor bitter child with no filter. Some heavy things are mentioned in this chapter too, also because Chara is a poor bitter child. (!!tw's in the end notes!!)

 

_[a memory:]_

 

**_— Chara, huh? That’s a nice name. My  n a m e   i    s   … —_ **

 

“ _Asriel?_ ” you repeat weakly. “What—” — _cough—_ “What the fuck kind of name is that?”

The goat-kid-thing standing over you— Asriel, apparently, whatever the hell that means— frowns harshly, eyes wide, looking extremely concerned about your current state. Like the fact that your breaths are coming out as painful wheezes, and now that you think about it, your right arm probably isn’t supposed to bend in that direction, either.

“Um, are you okay?” he asks carefully, like you might sit up and bite him if he gets too close or speaks too loudly.

“I just fell down a giant hole in a mountain into this hellish Wonderland. Do I _look_ okay?” you snap back, and the goat kid jumps.

“Uh… I guess not. Do you want me to go get my mom?” Asriel asks, entirely confused, but still standing just out of reach.

You huff once in a laugh, which turns into a grimace and a moan of pain when the movement jostles your ribs. “Unless you wanna just sit here and watch until I die,” you grit through your teeth, “that might be a good idea.

Asriel’s eyes widen even more in shock at that statement, and he shakes his head. “N-no! I don’t want you to die! I’ll go get her,” he says, and then dashes off, leaving you alone to stare up at the hole you just fell through, with only your thoughts for company. And presently, you have a lot of thoughts.

Mainly: _WHAT THE FUCK._

Okay, first of all, Plan A has been thoroughly thwarted, and that _sucks,_ because it had been the easiest on the list.

_Plan A:_

_Step 1: climb mountain_

_Step 2: jump down hole_

_Step 3: hit bottom of hole_

_Step 4: die_

Steps 1 through 3 had proceeded as planned. Step 4 had, as is evident by the fact that you are _not_ entirely oblivious to existence, failed miserably.

You look up at the distance between you and the pinprick of light that streams down upon you. _That’s definitely a hell of a drop,_ you think to yourself. _That’s… weird._

You had made _sure_ to look it up on the computer before you left— a fall from over thirty feet would leave you with little chance of survival, and anything over one hundred feet would basically sign your death certificate. And, though judging distances isn’t exactly your forte, you know a hundred feet from thirty, and that fall had been more than both of those combined.

Additionally, though your ribs hurt like hell and your arm is probably broken, you don’t seem to be suffering from anything that could cause permanent damage, or even injuries that won’t heal within a few weeks. Shouldn’t you, at the very least, be unconscious? Paralyzed? _Something?_

_Note to self: figure out why the fuck you’re still alive, at some point in the near future._

Moving on to the second thing—

 _WHY THE_ FUCK _IS A SMALL GOAT CHILD TRYING TO HELP YOU?_

The last time you had checked, goats didn’t speak your language. They also didn’t stand on two legs or wear striped sweaters or try to introduce themselves to humans. This way so far outside of what was supposed to happen.

You’re supposed to be _dead,_ and yet, here you are, lying in a patch of dirt and grass, _not dead,_ waiting for a _goat_ to go and find an adult to help you, and _nothing is making sense_.

Soon enough, after lamenting your situation for a few minutes, you hear footsteps approaching again.

“Chara?” the voice of Asriel calls, and you can just barely turn your neck to see him.

Behind his form is a fucking _beast._

Your eyes widen in shock and you can’t help the strangled screech that escapes from your throat. “What the _fuck_ is that thing?!” you demand, pointing with your uninjured arm.

Asriel gets closer, the terrifying thing following close behind him. He frowns. “This is my mom,” he says, hesitantly, like he isn’t sure if you’re referring to it— _her?!_ — or not. “Her name is Toriel. You said I should go get her to help you.”

Okay, the monster is Asriel’s mom. That’s… fine. Apparently. Not deadly or terrifying at all. She’s only _a goat_ who’s _eight feet-fucking-tall._

“Oh, my poor child,” she says gently, bending over to see Chara more clearly. “Are you alright? What happened?”

“Oh, I’m totally fine,” you retort, suppressing a wince of pain as you crane your neck to speak to her and then realize that’s a bad idea.

“Hmm,” the goat lady hums thoughtfully. “You do not seem fine. Perhaps it would be best if I brought you back to the castle anyway, to ensure you don’t suffer from any serious injuries?”

You close your eyes in defeat. Apparently, Asriel isn’t the only one here who doesn’t appreciate your scathing wit. _Another note to self: the inhabitants of this particular hell do not comprehend the use of sarcasm._

“Okay,” you say, instead of the string of insults that immediately come to mind. Probably best not to insult the giant goat monster until _after_ you’re rested enough to run away when she inevitably tries to kill you. And that’s assuming that this drug-induced hallucination, or near-death experience, or whatever the hell it is, even lasts long enough for that to happen.

(Though you do wonder why your brain would come up with _goat monsters_ , of all things, in its last moments. Huh.)

When the goat lady bends over you again, closer this time, you flinch involuntarily.

She frowns. “I am not going to hurt you, my child,” she promises softly. “But you are in no condition to walk. I will have to carry you to the castle in order to help you heal.”

You scowl, but when she puts a paw behind your head and another under your knees, you let her. Mostly because it would hurt a lot to protest, at this point.

“Take me to your leader,” you mumble under your breath, and then huff a laugh at your own joke.

“We are,” Asriel says, from somewhere below you. “The castle is where we live, and Dad is there waiting for us to come back. He’s the King of Home.”

Only half of the words in that sentence make any sort of sense to you, but you can gather enough of the meaning through context. “Wait,” you say. “Your dad is a king?”

“Yep!” Asriel says happily. “And Mom is the Queen, and I’m the Prince!”

“Great,” you say, because _obviously_ you’d get rescued by the only royalty in this place. That’s exactly how your luck has been going this whole day.

Your brain starts to feel a little fuzzy, and you don’t know if it’s from some of your internal injuries catching up to you or simply from the shock of this whole situation. Suddenly, you think of something funny. You laugh once, then again, and it hurts but that doesn’t really matter because this is _hilarious_. “Hey, Asriel?” you say. It takes more effort than usual to get the words out, and they’re slightly distorted by your gasps of laughter.

“Yeah, Chara?” he says, confused.

“I— _ha!_ — I just got the joke.”

“What joke?” Asriel asks.

“You!” you say, like it’s the best punchline you’ve ever heard. “You’re a— you’re a _kid!_ ‘Cause you’re a child, and you’re also a baby _goat!”_

Asriel huffs, annoyed, but Toriel’s face looks down on you in amusement. You find yourself glad she thought it was funny. Then, her face shifts into an expression of concern. “Chara? What’s wrong?”

You want to tell her that nothing’s wrong, it’s just _funny,_ but before you can even open your mouth to say it, darkness overwhelms you and you fall blissfully unconscious.

 

*             *             *

Three weeks pass. Your ribs are healed— apparently, the goat people here can also do _magic_ , and isn’t _that_ just dandy— and your arm is too, and you hadn’t even needed a cast for it. Butterscotch-cinnamon pie seemed to be enough to fix it all up within a single day.

Even after Toriel and Asriel had explained to you the concept of Monsters in the Underground, magic food, and the Barrier while you were getting used to the castle, the whole idea of it all is still completely overwhelming.

 _Monsters._ An entire species (or maybe multiple species?) that had lived under Mount Ebbot for decades, if not centuries, and never been discovered by humans? Or rather, had never been re-discovered, as apparently humans had been the ones to drive and trap monsters underneath the mountain in the first place.

And doesn’t that just make you feel guilty as fuck, being human and knowing what your ancestors did to these people, and then wandering around the castle like it isn’t your fault all of these people have suffered for so long.

A knock on your door draws you out of your thoughts. “Chara?” Asriel’s voice says softly.

Three weeks in this castle, and Asriel still refuses to enter your bedroom— _both_ of yours’ bedroom— without explicit permission from you, if you’re in it (which you are, nearly all of the time). You think it’s _weird,_ especially since none of the other kids back at the home would have bothered to extend that sort of courtesy to you, but you don’t dare complain.

Besides, it makes it far less likely that he’ll catch you with the knife.

You shove the knife in question underneath your pillow, out of sight, and make sure to pull your sweater sleeves all the way down before you respond, “You can come in.”

The door opens slowly, Asriel pausing in the doorway before he enters all the way into the room.

“What’s up?” you ask.

“Do you want to play outside with me?” he asks, and it comes out all in a rush like he’d been building up the courage to do so for a while.

You smile at him briefly, sadly. “Sorry, Asriel. I don’t think I’m up for it today.”

He frowns, pouts a bit, but doesn’t leave. After a moment he adds, out of nowhere, “It’s just— Mom and Dad are pretty worried about you.”

“Uh, what?” Why would the king and queen of an underground kingdom give a fuck about _you_?

Asriel shifts his weight, and you really are going to have to talk to him about not being so nervous around you, especially if you’re going to be living here for a while, and that’s what’s looking more and more likely each day that passes. (Not that you want to go back to the surface, by any means.) “You never come out of our room except for dinner sometimes, and then in the middle of the night I hear you leave all of the time… Mom thinks you’re trying to run away, but you always come back before I wake up again… Dad says that you might be homesick, but every time someone mentions you leaving, you close up and get all angry…”

You notice he’s right when you go to protest and realize your facial expression is already full of frustration and resentment.

He continues. “And you eat so little, and even though it’s monster food, we know it isn’t harmful to humans or anything. So… I guess I just want to make sure you’re okay?” he finishes, his voice squeaking on the last few words. He doesn’t make eye contact with you as you sit on the bed in silence, wide-eyed.

“Asriel…” you finally manage to say, and he looks up, startled. “I’m…” _–not okay, dying, hurting, broken, damaged, unwanted—_ “I’m fine.”

He narrows his eyes at you. “Are you _sure_ , Chara?” he says, and it must be the fact that his voice is full of such concern, and that he says your name like _that,_ like he _cares_ , that does it.

You tell yourself sternly that this is an absolutely unacceptable reason to cry.

“I’m sure,” you say, sounding much more resolute than you feel. “So. What kind of game did you want to play outside? I’ll get my shoes.”

And that’s the end of that conversation, for now.

*             *             *

Three months pass.

Queen Toriel isn’t “Toriel” or “Goat Lady” anymore, but Mom. King Asgore is just Dad. Asriel is your best friend, and your brother. You spend some mornings baking in the castle kitchen with Mom, making butterscotch-cinnamon pies and cookies and cupcakes, and sometimes after lunch you’ll help Dad water the flowers in the garden.

You like those flowers.

You play with Azzy more often now, but you never tell him about your ideas.

The ideas that come to you in the middle of the night, ideas like _none of the monsters down here trust you. You’re a human. They hate you, Chara._

_You’re not wanted here. You’re not wanted on the surface, either. You’re ruining everything. You should just die, Chara. Make it easier for everyone else._

_Just. Die._

You don’t tell Azzy any of that. You definitely don’t tell Mom and Dad.

Then, you try to make Dad a butterscotch pie.

 

And you get an idea.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: trigger warnings-- suicidal ideation, self-harm heavily implied, extremely derogatory self-image, extreme uses of sarcasm


	10. Hammered

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: you guys it's been 2 months i'm so sorry. first it was finals, then christmas, then new year's, then school, and i just kept putting it off ????? anyway i formally apologize and i promise i'm back up to once a week now :)))   
> Undyne keeps wanting me not to put her in yet so even though i said she'd be in this one... the fight's in the next one... but i'm woRKinG on it, and y'all are saints for putting up with me, thanks lovelies!
> 
> ((please don't kill me))

 

Your eyes fly open, and for a moment, you’re too shocked to move. The flowers beneath you broke your fall, so you aren’t hurt. But the memories… _Chara’s_ memories…

_What the heck just happened?_ you ask Chara, not so much demanding as bewildered. _Were those your memories of your life after you fell…?_

**No shit, Sherlock,** Chara grumbles.

You don’t know what “Sherlock” means, but you can tell it isn’t nice.

_I’m sorry,_ you start to say, but Chara stops you instantly.

**No.**

_Chara, what—_

**Stop. I** **’** **m not doing this with you right now.**

So you drop it, and you don’t bring it up again, despite all of the questions whirling around in your mind. You can’t say you’re not incredibly curious, but it isn’t your place to demand answers.

_Alright. On through the trash heap we go, then._

**Right where I belong,** Chara says, with an air of fake-cheerfulness.

Various pieces of plastic, soggy paper, food wrappers, and other junk float around your waist as you wade through the water. Around you is the same junk as always: a water cooler, filled with the same Astronaut Food it always is; a pile of cracked and broken DVD cases of various anime seasons; a sad bicycle horn that sounds nothing like a bicycle horn should; a beat-up dummy standing in the water, separate from the rest of the junk—

Except, no. This time, there is no dummy…? The water beyond the end of the trash pile is smooth and dark and empty. Mad Dummy is nowhere to be seen, which is odd, to say the least, because even last time—

_even last time, when you’d confronted him and his anger had been so intense that he’d become corporeal at last, achieved his lifelong dream, and you would never tell anybody but you had felt the kindling of jealousy in your gut because_ his _anger had turned into something good, so why was your rage only destructive and hateful and endless—_

**Just be glad you don** **’** **t have to waste time fighting him now,** Chara interrupts. **He** **’** **s stupid, anyway.**

You hold back the feeling of disappointment building within you, the one that points out how if you don’t fight Mad Dummy, Napstablook won’t have any reason to come save you, and you haven’t seen them yet in this timeline even once. And you _missed_ them.

**Well, their house is coming up, isn** **’** **t it?** Chara asks. **We can just go visit.**

You honestly can’t tell if they’re being facetious or not, because that’s _clearly_ not an option. Even if you can’t kill ghosts, you can still scare them. You could still make them _hate_ you, which you’d never want to happen in a million years, and which is an entirely plausible possibility if you go near Napstablook with Chara still along for the ride.

**Whatever,** Chara says, with a roll of their eyes and the distinct impression of crossed arms. **Then just get a move on and go talk to the wrinkled green plastic bag already.**

_His name is Gerson,_ you remind them. _And you should be polite to him. He’s a war hero, and he’s super old, so you have to be nice._

**Says who?**

_Says… me, I guess._

Chara mentally sticks out their tongue. **Not like he can hear me. I** **’** **ll say whatever I like, thanks.**

_Okay…_

**Look. Worst case, it** **’** **ll be just like last time,** Chara sighs. **You** **’** **re rude and he** **’** **s crazy, but you can** **’** **t get to him and he can** **’** **t get to you.**

Not exactly a comforting thought, but it’s better than thinking about the sound of a knife slicing through shell—

You shake your head at yourself to clear the thought (even though it’s pointless, because Chara’s still there and shaking your head can’t get rid of _them_ ) and walk forward to the crossroads. Undyne’s house is to the northwest, Napstablook’s to the north, and the snail-racing track to the northeast.

You don’t want to see a single one of them. Seeing Undyne’s house in person will be enough to bring back so many horrible visions— _memories_ — of her house in flames, except instead of her standing next to you and laughing about cooking lessons, her dust coated your hands and the flames were only for your own satisfaction—

**Has anyone ever told you, you** **’** **re one fucked-up kid?** Chara says, an undertone of bewildered amusement under their voice, like they’re mildly impressed by your level of psycho.

_You,_ you grumble back. _More than once._

**Oh, yeah,** they say, like they had genuinely forgotten, and the ensuing laughter that rings in your head but not your ears doesn’t do much to help your sanity. You turn immediately to the right, bypassing the houses and snail farm without any further hesitation.

The entrance to Gerson’s shop is right in front of you, but despite the fact that you had spent so much time and effort to get here, you suddenly don’t want to step inside. The Delta Rune seems to glare at you through the walls before you even enter, and a voice that distinctly is not Chara’s repeats _the underground will go empty, the underground will go empty, the angel will return and the underground will go empty._

You take a breath and walk through the archway.

“Wa ha ha!” Gerson laughs in greeting. “Was wonderin’ when you were gonna show up!”

**_Hello,_** you sign, and you have to clench your teeth in concentration to keep yourself from shaking.

“Somethin’ on your mind?” he asks, a knowing, crooked grin on his face, yellow teeth bared. “I’ve heard a lot about you, kiddo. Not quite sure what to think about you yet, though.”

**_I’m not dangerous,_** you sign immediately. **_I don’t know what you’ve heard. But I haven’t killed anyone._**

**Liar,** Chara singsongs quietly, and you try to ignore them.

“Wa ha ha! Who said you had?” he laughs, and you flinch.

**_I, um. Sorry,_** you sign.

“Don’t worry about it,” he waves it off. “I’ve seen killers before. You don’t have that look in your eyes. Though…” He hums in thought, but trails off. “Anyway. What brings you here?”

**_It’s about Papyrus,_** you sign. **_And Undyne._**

“Papyrus?” Gerson repeats. “Yeah, Undyne was tellin’ me he’s gone missing or whatnot… actually, now I think about it… she was tellin’ me that you had somethin’ to do with it, too.” He narrows his eyes at you, not entirely suspicious but definitely pondering whether or not you’re a bad guy.

**_I didn’t,_** you sign immediately. **_I’m trying to find him. I know who took him, but I need Undyne to help—_**

“Took him?” Gerson interrupts. “He was kidnapped? By whom?”

…you hadn’t really considered how you were going to explain this part, actually.

**Way to plan ahead, doofus.**

“Well?” he repeats. “Who took Papyrus?”

**_I know this sounds crazy, but it was a flower—_ **

“A _flower?_ Wa ha ha!” Gerson guffaws loudly, throwing his head back. “You think a flower took Papyrus?”

**_It can talk, and it’s evil! It has Determination, but it doesn’t have a soul,_** you try to explain. **_So it—_**

“Look, kiddo,” he interrupts again. “I’ve been alive long enough to have lived through most of the things you’ve read about in history books, and I ain’t even seen or heard of a talking flower. There just ain’t no way a flower could have Determination, alright?”

You frown. **_It was a science experiment. Dr. Alphys was trying to bring it to life._**

Gerson laughs again. “Oh, don’t bring that poor girl into this. She’s been through enough. Even Undyne can barely get through to her anymore, and you expect me to think she’s hiding away, experimenting on _flowers?_ ”

You don’t say anything. Your gaze drifts to the ground, and you push madly against the sting of tears threatening to gather in your eyes.

Gerson notices your expression and softens a bit. “Anyway, here’s the deal: whether you had anything to do with Papyrus’ disappearance or not, Undyne thinks you did. In fact, she thinks you killed him. She ain’t gonna listen to me, or anyone else, if we were to try and tell her otherwise, so what you gotta do is convince her yourself.”

You tilt your head. **_She wants to kill me. There won’t be much time for talking when I eventually run into her._**

“Nah, you’re right,” he concedes. “She’s gonna be tough. Probably yell at you a lot too, wa ha ha! But she doesn’t really mean it. She’s just mad that Papyrus is gone. I’m sure you’ll be able to get through to her.”

**_She won’t believe me,_** you insist.

“Then make her. I’m sure with enough determination, you’ll succeed.”

You honestly can’t tell if he’s making fun of you or not. **_If I try to talk to Undyne, she’ll kill me,_** you reiterate. **_If I fight her, either I die or she does. She doesn’t accept mercy._**

Gerson nods slowly. “Yeah, she always was a little fighter, never one to give up on somethin’ just ‘cause. But I think you’re missing something pretty important, kid— those ain’t the only two options you’ve got.”

_Not fight her OR talk? Then, what’s left to do?_

Chara hums. **Like I know. I like fighting, remember? Why would I have ever tried anything else?**

_I don’t know. But what else could I do?_

**Just kill her, honestly,** Chara sighs. **It** **’** **s so much work otherwise. And she** **’** **ll just get in the way.**

_You can’t mean that—_

“You okay, kid?” Gerson asks. “You look like you’re having an argument with yourself in there. And I think you might be losing.”

Your eyes widen, and you shake your head quickly. **_No, no. Just thinking. Sorry._**

Gerson narrows his single open eye at you, like he doesn’t quite believe you, but he doesn’t push it any further.

**_So what do I have to do to get her to listen to me?_** you press. **_It’s important. Papyrus in is danger._**

“Yeah, yeah,” Gerson scoffs, nodding. “The flower kidnapped him. And you need Undyne to help find him.” He sighs, long-suffering, like you remind him of someone. “Okay. Here’s my advice. You’re thinkin’ you’ve only got two choices: fight, or die. You’re wrong. You can refuse.”

You stand there in stunned silence.

**_What?_** you sign. There has never been another option. What other choices have you had this whole time, but never known about?

“Wa ha ha! You fight, you die, or you _stop it._ ” Gerson says. “The next time you die, you don’t come back. Stay that way, and we’ll all be just fine without you.”

You remember a voice, deep and slightly slurred. _“Leave if you wanna. We’re just fine without you here.”_ You’re not entirely sure if it’s your memory or Chara’s— you’ve been here so long, it’s hard to remember much from before— but either way, it makes your chest ache.

**_Thank you for the advice,_** you sign, instead of running away like you want to do. You still have to ask… You hesitate to leave, and Gerson notices.

He looks at you expectantly. “Yes?”

**_Have you…_ **

You really don’t want to ask him, honestly. What if he thinks you’re crazy, or evil, or secretly working for Flowey—

Chara sighs. **Please just get this over with.**

**_Have you ever heard… knocking sounds? Coming from the cave walls around Waterfall?_ **

Gerson shrugs. “Knocking? Nope, never heard anything like that before. Maybe you just heard Undyne practicing her fighting moves! Wa ha ha!”

**Oh, great. Super helpful,** Chara huffs.

You just thank him again, waving half-heartedly as you leave his shop, trying not to let your disappointment show too much.

Chara is still snickering quietly to themself in the back of your head, and you can’t help but be irritated. They’re not _any_ better than you are, and you know you haven’t been perfect but Chara most definitely hasn’t been either. What gives them the right to act like they’re superior?

**What gives _you_ the right to think I** **’** **m not?** they retort.

You want to say _because you’re a murderer,_ or _because you enjoy it when you get to hurt others,_ but you stay quiet, and Chara’s smug silence tells you that they know exactly why. You can’t tell Chara that they’re any worse than you are, because those descriptions fit you just as well.

_Not anymore,_ you correct yourself, but you don’t think making it past tense really helps much.

The lantern room, as you move on past Gerson’s shop, is a beautiful sight. Even though you’ve walked through it too many times to count, you can’t help but slow down. The mushrooms light up as you brush your fingertips against them, triggering a chain reaction that lights the bioluminescent grass in front of you, in various directions.

The mushroom path is much easier than Undyne’s spear maze to memorize, especially since you’re not under such immense stress this time, and it doesn’t take long to pass the pink crystals and the lanterns, either.

**As loathe as I am to bring this up,** Chara says cautiously, **you aren** **’** **t going to Temmie Village?**

_No time,_ you say. _We have to find Papyrus, and we’ve wasted enough time already._

**Not such a big fan of the use of** **“** **we** **”** **right there,** Chara grumbles.

You ignore them.

As you keep walking, the glowing grass beneath your feet morphs into rock, and the light from the lanterns fades behind you until you’re walking forward blindly in the dark. You know what comes next—

you can feel the prickling of the hairs on your neck, like Undyne is just inches away, ready to shove a spear through your neck at any moment—

But nobody came. The darkness lifts slowly, like a sunrise of watery blue light, and Undyne isn’t anywhere in sight. Somehow, her absence is more terrifying than if she had shown up. Plus, that means Monster Kid isn’t here, either, and that definitely doesn’t bode well.

The flowers are eerily silent; the only sound is the quiet _swishing_ noise that your feet make as they drag through the shallow water beneath you. You can see the bridge as you turn the corner, and you know that this is where Undyne will find you. Monster Kid is gone, they can’t delay the fight any longer this time, but Gerson told you what to do to fix this, right? You just have to die, like you’ve done a dozen times before, and then— and then, just don’t come back. In order to save the Underground, you’re going to have to die for good, and let Undyne kill you— it really feels like it’s too much.

Your breathing quickens, and you feel the familiar constriction in your chest, like Flowey is wrapping his vines around your rib cage again.

**Whoa, uh, Frisk,** Chara says suddenly, startled. **What** **’** **s wrong?**

_Can’t breathe,_ you think. _I’m—_ you gasp for breath silently. _It’s— Panic…_

Chara seems concerned, which doesn’t really make sense from what you know of them but you don’t have a whole lot of concentration left to care. **Um, do you need** **—** **?**

You back up, away from the bridge and back into the tunnel with the flowers. _I can’t do this, I can’t fight Undyne, she’s gonna kill me and Gerson was wrong, Papyrus will die if I don’t come back, no one else will know he’s still alive—_

You don’t realize how far you’ve backtracked until you stumble into one of the echo flowers you passed earlier. **_Sorry,_** you sign out of habit, momentarily forgetting it can’t hear you.

…which makes it even more surprising when it replies.

_“Where oh where could that child be?”_ it says, light and feminine and warm and familiar.

**Wha** **—** **Mom?** Chara says, shocked.

Toriel’s voice is coming from the flower, clear as crystal.

_“I’ve been looking all over for them…”_

Amazed, you stare at the flower. There is no way Toriel could be here, could have been so close behind you, without you having noticed. _Do you think—?_

_“Hee hee hee!”_ the flower suddenly says, and this time it is most definitely _not_ Toriel. It’s high-pitched and grating, familiar in a way that sends a sharp chill down your spine. “ _THAT’S not true.”_

**Flowey?** Chara whispers, and you absolutely _hate_ how scared they sound. Chara shouldn’t ever sound scared. They’re supposed to be the most menacing thing in the Underground, and they certainly shouldn’t be scared of a flower, even if it is a genocidal maniac.

“ _She’ll find another kid, and she’ll instantly forget about you,”_ the flower keeps talking, its raspy whisper chilling you to the core. _“You’ll NEVER see her again.”_

**No** **…** **!** Chara says. **No, Mom, no, come back! I** **’** **m sorry, I** **’** **m so sorry** **—**

_That isn’t Mom, Chara!_ you say, trying to keep yourself steady. _It was Flowey, not her. He can’t get her. He’s trying to mess with us._

**But I** **—** Chara pauses, long enough that you start to wonder if they’re just going to stop talking entirely, but finally they say, **Okay. Whatever. You** **’** **re right. Let** **’** **s just go and get this over with. _Don_** ** _’_** ** _t_** **chicken out this time.**

With the threat of Flowey looming near, facing Undyne suddenly seems like a smaller dilemma than it had about five minutes ago. You take a deep breath and wade back through the water to the bridge.

 


	11. Justified

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: so i said i'd update once a week again.  
> it's been like three months.  
> i give up. who knows how often i'll post now. what is life even.  
> i graduated and everything you'd think i'd have enough free time to work on this.  
> i promise i've got an actual word count goal per day now tho okay so it shouldn't be long before the next one is done. but. who knows.  
> anyways if you're still here you're a saint and i love you, you're all lovely beings and i wish you all a wonderful happy wednesday and an exciting summer! (as soon as it starts, if you're not out of school yet)

Undyne is already standing on the bridge, waiting for you. You aren’t even going to make it to the mountain before she tries to kill you. _Great_.

“Human!” she shouts, as soon as you walk into view. “Finally! You keep getting away from me, _coward_ , but not this time! I’m gonna TEAR YOU TO SHREDS!!” Without further preamble, your SOUL is forcibly ripped from your body. Undyne is only feet in front of you, spear at the ready, scowling menacingly. She glares at you, then draws her finger across her neck in a clear death threat. “You’re a murderer. You’re _evil_. I can tell just by looking at you. I can’t wait to beat you.”

**_I don’t want to fight you,_** you sign desperately. You have no idea if Undyne knows sign language or not, but she doesn’t seem to care that you’re attempting to communicate either way.

“You’re about to die,” she announces. “You know why? Not only are you a human, standing in the way of all of the hopes and dreams of the Underground— you also KILLED my BEST FRIEND!!” She screams it at you in rage but then pauses, and her expression morphs from anger to desperation to sorrow. “I didn’t even know he was gone until his brother came to my house, and—”

You stand silently, eyes wide in guilt and fear. There is nothing you can say to defend yourself.

“And now Papyrus is gone. And I haven’t seen Sans since, either. What did you do to him? What did you DO TO HIM?” she shrieks. “Papyrus, who I have trained every day... Even though I KNOW he's too goofy to ever hurt anyone... Go ahead. Prepare however you want. But when you step forward...”

Her good eye flashes. “I will KILL you.”

**Sweet,** Chara says. **Death by sushi.**

  _SO not the time,_ you chastise, and then suddenly Undyne thrusts a spear toward you.

“Here. Use this to block my attacks, if you can. I want to kill you, but I’m not gonna just fight an unarmed little kid!”

**But an _armed_ little kid, totally fair game, ** Chara scowls.

You take the giant spear from her, your arms immediately groaning under its weight. With tremendous effort, you heave it in front of you as a makeshift shield, blocking as much of yourself as you can with it.

You try to take a step forward— and realize you can’t move more than about an inch in any direction. Undyne has restricted your SOUL to a barely-there space for movement. All you can seem to do is turn in place, swinging your spear around.

**Wait, I don** **’** **t like** **—** Chara starts to say, sounding panicked, but Undyne speaks over them.

“Are you ready to die, human?” she cackles. Before you can even shake your head, she adds, “Awesome! _NGAHHHHHHHHH!_ ”

The first barrage of spears is just slow enough that you can manage to whirl your own gigantic spear around (how does Undyne even throw a spear from _behind_ you? Magic kinda sucks) and knock them away from your body before they hit.

**Frisk,** Chara says, their voice wavering. **I can** **’** **t move. We** **’** **re trapped.**

_Yeah, I noticed…_ you say, unsure as to why they’re pointing it out right now.

**I can** **’** **t** **…** **breathe** **…!** Chara says, and it hits you: they’re _claustrophobic_. Of course. They’d been kept in a coffin for decades, and then buried deep underground, and now they’re stuck in your headspace. They haven’t been free, autonomous, in almost a century. Of _course_ they don’t like being trapped.

But there isn’t anything you can do about it right now, considering you’re just as trapped as they are, and are currently trying to not get stabbed and die. Again.

“How about _THIS?!_ ” Undyne shouts, and then swings her spear. It’s so fast that you have only started to dodge when it passes straight through you— but instead of pain, you feel nothing. In front of your, your SOUL flickers and changes from red to bright green. “You can’t escape me, human!”

**Oh great, was that always an option?** Chara says, panicked. **This is why everything is easier if you just _kill_ the people that are in your way! It’s your turn. Let’s do this.**

_No! We’re not killing anyone!_ you insist. _I don’t care if we have to die because of it. No. Killing._

**_I_ care, **Chara retorts. **And right now, only one of those options is going to _get me out_ of this _goddamn box!_**

_Chara!_ You can feel the force of their will rising within you, an eerily familiar feeling that leads back to more memories of ashes and dust and chokes your lungs with the smell of burning fur— _Stop! I have a plan!_ The force pushes and pulls on your SOUL in the same way that Undyne ripped it from you in the first place; only, this time, it’s not going in a single direction. It feels like it’s being torn apart from the force of being shoved against every wall of the box, getting faster and faster and stronger and stronger until you can barely contain it anymore. _CHARA!_

You catch a glimpse of Undyne, her yellow eye wide and confused at the SOUL going wild within her cage, instead of taking its turn. Her gaze flickers up toward you in confusion, questioning, but you can only hold it for a moment— _help me_ — before Chara snaps.

**Let. Me. OUT.**

And the box shatters.

In that moment, it’s exactly like it was before you erased the world. You can see and hear and feel everything the same as always. You can think clearly. You’re still _you_ — except Chara is the one in charge. You’re moving the limbs, contracting the muscles, blinking the eyes— but Chara is the one calling the shots: the one deciding when and why to do those things.

And that’s why it is only with mute horror that you can sit in the back of your own mind and watch as your body pushes forward, bracing against the spear in its hands, and shoves Undyne hard. That’s why you can only scream silently as you watch her stumble back in surprise, and why there’s nothing you can do to stop Chara from pointing the spear at Undyne’s armored chest and thrusting the point with all your strength.

That’s why you stand there, useless, hopeless, helpless, as Undyne falls backward off of the bridge in what seems like slow motion, and you listen motionless as you hear the dull _clang-thud_ when she hits the ground below a full second later.

**There.** Chara says, self-satisfied. **Wasn’t that—?**

You don’t even let them finish before you go back.

**- L O A D -**

**—way easier? Wait.** Chara stops themself as they realize what just happened. **Uh. What the _fuck_ did you just do?! **

A part of you wants to scream at Chara and demand an answer, to take back every ounce of control that you can and force them out, and keep them away until the only voice in your head is your own and there’s no genocidal demon child in there with it.

And then there’s another part, a bigger and stronger part, that just wants to break down and cry, and that’s the part that wins right now.

**After all of this,** Chara says in annoyance and half-disbelief, **you’re still a dumb crybaby.**

It doesn’t even register with you that they’re attempting to insult you. _You killed her._

**Yeah,** they say. **And you reloaded, so it was totally pointless. What the hell?**

_You KILLED HER._

Chara huffs. **You said that already.**

You wipe your face with your sweater sleeve and take in a shaky breath. _… I hate you._

They bark out a single laugh. **I made you kill everyone you ever loved. I’d be concerned if you didn’t hate me.**

_No, I really,_ really _hate you!_

**Very creative—**

_You ruin everything!_ you shout mentally. _Why don’t you just die and leave me ALONE!?_

A moment of quiet that stretches into a second, then a minute, and there is no answer. There’s no presence of annoyance, or anger, or rage in your mind. There is nothing. There is silence.

_… Chara?_

Silence.

_Chara, I’m… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that,_ you say softly. _I’m sorry._

Silence.

You can feel the tears building up again, and you hate it because Chara is a murderer and a liar and they ruined your life— you shouldn’t feel _bad_ or _guilty_ because you pissed them off or hurt their feelings. If anything, they absolutely deserved it, and you don’t even regret it.

But your headspace feels entirely void and empty and _lonely,_ and you do regret it. _I’m sorry,_ you say again.

But nobody came.

 

*             *             *

 

The SAVE point isn’t too far from where you want to be— you walk in silence, both physically and in your head. Chara stays absent, and you move with a single purpose. You don’t think too hard about what’s just happened. You just want to move past Undyne and find Papyrus, and you want to do it without killing monsters that don’t deserve it.

That would have been a great time for Chara to chime in with some pessimistic, mean comment about monsters that _do_ deserve it, but they don’t say anything. It feels weird to listen to nothing but echoing, reverberating quiet in response to your thoughts. It feels wrong.

You make it to the corridor before the bridge, the one filled with echo flowers and flooded past your ankles, and it becomes immediately clear that something is different—

Mostly because Undyne is standing there, waiting for you, with wide eyes and a confused, terrified scowl. “Human,” she says, her voice shaking ever so slightly. “What. Just. Happened.”

You stare _. How on earth does she know? Why does she remember? How—?_

“You killed me. I fell off of that bridge and I’m pretty sure I _died._ ” She looks shaken and bewildered as she says, “Except I’m not dead, and you’re here, and we haven’t even been on the bridge yet.” Her eyes flash, and her face morphs into an expression of rage. “WHAT did you DO?”

You have no idea how to begin to explain.

“Alphys told me to be careful of you. I thought that was just because you were a dangerous murderer. But you… You’re much more than that, huh?” She lowers her spear and lunges for you in the same movement, grabbing your arm tightly before you can even think to dodge. “I don’t know what the hell is up with you, but we’re gonna find out.”

With that, you think she’s going to kill you— but she doesn’t rematerialize her spear. Instead, she starts to drag you toward the bridge, and then past her mountain, and onwards inside.

She’s taking you to Hotland, and you’re going to have some explaining to do to Alphys once you get there.


	12. Heated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: wow it's only been a month. -_- anyway i've got 50% of the next chapter finished already. i swear on chara's ghost i'll have it uploaded before july 10. thanks for reading lovelies!

The walk from the edge of Waterfall to the Lab is… nerve-wracking. Undyne is steaming— not just angry, but _actual water droplets are evaporating off of her scales._ She’s silent, staring ahead and scowling as she drags you along, and you’re fairly certain that you’re bleeding where her claw-like nails are digging into your skin.

She marches past the water cooler without so much as a second glance— you guess that it’s probably a lot harder for her to run through Hotland chasing someone than to just walk to the Lab normally. She reaches the door and knocks with the hand that isn’t clamped around you, hard enough to dent the six-inch-thick stainless steel into the shape of an angry fist.

The two of you wait in tense silence for less than ten seconds before you hear a muffled voice say, “Hold on!” When the door to the Lab swings open, you’re expecting to see Alphys in her white lab coat behind it, holding a high-tech smartphone in her claws and looking nervous to see you. But it’s not Alphys— it’s Sans.

“finally, i— undyne? _kid?_ ” he says, looking between the two of you suspiciously, particularly eyeing the death grip that Undyne still has on your upper arm. “what’s going on?”

Behind him, Alphys rushes to the door. “Is it— oh my _god_ Undyne! A-are you okay? We got a glitch in our temporal readings, they s-said that you— I mean, we were so w-worried—”

“It wasn’t a glitch,” Undyne growls. “Let us in. This is important.”

“It— what?” Alphys says, eyes wide. “But how—?”

“It _wasn’t_ a _glitch_!” she repeats. “It was the human. They can— they’re the one that did… whatever that was.” She finally lets go of your arm and shoves you through the doorway. Undyne follows you in, and the door slides closed behind you with a mechanical _whoosh_. Alphys and Sans take a step back to make room for you— or, mostly Undyne, since she’s towering and angry and clearly intimidating.

“okay. uh,” Sans says slowly. “it sounds like we need to talk.” He looks at your arm again, and raises his browbone. “but let’s get you cleaned up first, kid. that doesn’t look so great. then we can talk about whatever’s going on around here, k?”

He reaches out to take your hand, but instinctively flinch away. You’ve seen that move far too many times, always followed by being slammed every which direction into walls and floors and ceilings. He looks at you, concerned. “c’mon, kid. i told you before, i’m not gonna hurt you unless i absolutely have to. and something tells me i won’t have to.”

Carefully, you reach toward him and put your small hand in his, but you glance back over your shoulder to make sure Undyne isn’t about to stab you with a spear. Luckily, she doesn’t have a weapon, but she’s glaring at you just as hard as she has been this whole time.

Sans tugs you gently toward the back of the Lab, probably feeling your nervousness and apprehension from being around the fish deadly warrior. It occurs to you that Chara most likely would make a joke there, if they were still around to do that.

You wonder where they went, or if they could go anywhere at all. Are they still in your head, just angry and silent? Or did they…

You’re interrupted by quiet voices from the direction you just came. “What do you mean, _are you sure?_ ” It’s Undyne’s voice. “They’re wearing his _scarf_ , Alphys. Like… like some sort of sick trophy. Of course it was them.”

“I don’t think they— w-wouldn’t I have seen it? I-if they did?” Alphys replies softly.

The rest of the conversation is muted when Sans leads you around the corner, into a hallway with half a dozen identical steel doors lining it on either side. Without hesitation, he leads you to the third one on the right.

The interior of the room is stark white, like a hospital room. There are machines and monitors and wires, all surrounding a cot-like bed. Sans gestures to it. “take a seat, kid. i’ll grab some band-aids… and see if i can find a snack,” he adds, after taking in your haggard appearance once more. “wait here, i’ll be right back.”

He walks out the door, leaving you in the room alone with your thoughts— quite literally, since Chara still hasn’t made an appearance.

 _…Hello?_ you think tentatively. _Chara? Are you there? Are you back yet? I already said I’m sorry…_

No answer, not even a fleeting hint of anger or frustration, like Chara’s there but trying to hide it. They’re just… gone. Your head is entirely empty except for your own thoughts.

In any previous timeline, this would have been a huge relief. Getting Chara out of your head had been a priority in nearly all of them, and even in the beginning of this one: so it doesn’t make any sense that you should be missing them, or worried about them, or any of the other things that you currently are.

And worst of all, they’re _still_ trying to convince you to erase the world. That you were happier that way, before you convinced them to bring it back. That you never should have wanted it back at all. And you can’t even say they’re _wrong_ , because it was so much easier when there was nothing but howling wind and emptiness, when you and the Voice were the only entities left in the entire universe, and everything that existed was Void—

Without Chara in your mind to distract you or call you names or give advice, you can feel yourself slipping into the familiar pattern of a downward spiral, your heartbeat quickening until you can feel every too-fast pulse in your fingertips. Your breathing follows pace until you can’t get enough oxygen and your head turns fuzzy. And the only thing you can think of is void void Void _Void Void Void Void VOID VOID VOID VOID **VOID VOID VOID**_

“kid? you okay?”

Sans walks in, expression morphing from bored to confused and worried in a split second when he sees you sitting on the floor, curled up with your knees at your chest— when did that happen, weren’t you just sitting on the bed?— and he puts down the bandages and bag of chisps in his hands to kneel beside you. “frisk. hey. talk to me kid, what’s wrong? i wasn’t even gone for five minutes. what happened?”

All you can do is cling to his sweatshirt as you break into tears. To his everlasting credit, he just lets you cry on him for a good while, until you’re all out of tears to spill. After probably ten minutes, you finally sit back.

“you all cried out?” he asks, and you nod. “okay, good. here.” He hands you the bag of chisps, and you pull the crinkly plastic apart and take a bite. They taste like regular potato chips… but with more chisp flavor. As you snack on them, he takes out the roll of bandages.

“so the chisps will probably help with healing these faster, but i want to make sure they stay clean and protected, k?” he says, gesturing to your injured arm. You just nod again, holding it out toward him so he can patch it up while you continue eating with your other hand.

He wraps them bandages around you, making sure they cover each of the gouges left by Undyne. He scowls as he works, muttering, “what the hell was she thinking? she knows you’re just a kid.” He finishes wrapping and pats your arm to signal you can put it down.

Pointedly, you sign, **_She was going to stab me to death with a spear. This is way less bad than that._**

He shrugs. “okay, yeah, fair enough. now. you wanna talk about it?” He doesn’t have to be specific; you know he’s referring to the state he found you in earlier.

You hunch your shoulders, shaking your head noncommittally. **_Not really._**

He looks at you skeptically. “…you know, alph and i have been talking ever since you got to waterfall. i told her you were bad news. and since then, she’s been tracking you. she’s got cameras set up all across the underground.”

Your eyes widen. **_That’s… creepy_**.

Sans nods. “yeah, i know. anyway, i tell her to rewind to when papyrus… went missing… and she finds something weird: the footage from then? all static. wiped from the hard drive completely. but when it comes back on, it’s you, holding the scarf, looking toward the forest, all relieved. and in the snow are _footprints_.” He sighs again. “so, i, uh. i guess what i’m saying is, i’m pretty sure it wasn’t you that killed him. took him, whatever. so… i’m sorry.”

You smile, just a little. **_Apology accepted._**

“but,” he adds, “that’s not saying you’re off the hook. you’ve still got some weird stuff following you around, stuff even i can’t explain. stuff alph can’t explain, and she’s a genius. so we’re still gonna keep our eyes on you. but for now, finding papyrus is the priority, k?”

You nod vigorously. **_Yes. I want to help._**

“good,” he says. “but after all of this is over, i’m gonna get that explanation.”

 ** _Okay,_** you sign carefully. _If I have one by then, that is._ And Chara isn’t there to tell you otherwise, or make fun of you for everything you don’t know, and that doesn’t help at all. Sans leads you out the door back to the rest of the Lab, and you hold tight to the chisps in your hand as you go.

In the main area of the Lab, Undyne and Alphys are focused entirely on a giant computer screen. Alphys looks grim; Undyne looks angry and disbelieving, but much less intimidating now that she’s apparently changed out of her armor and into regular clothes.

Undyne turns toward the two of you when she hears you approaching. “So I _did_ die,” she growls. “And we have proof. Why are we still letting the human live, again?” she demands.

_Never mind, she’s definitely still just as intimidating._

Alphys shakes her head. “U-Undyne, it’s not actually proof. The- the cameras just show you finding the h-human and bringing them here. No- no killing involved.”

Undyne throws her hands up in exasperation. “Exactly! The whole part where they pushed me is _totally gone!_ ”

Sans snorts. “that’s the opposite of the definition of proof, undyne.”

She scowls at him. “Shut up, nerd. I _know_ what happened! Has anyone thought to ask the human about it yet?”

Three sets of eyes turn to look at you.

“well, kid?” Sans says, clearly doing it only for Undyne’s benefit. “did you kill her and somehow bring her back?”

You wish you could shrink into yourself and never be seen again. **_Uh, well. It’s… complicated,_** you sign slowly.

“What does that mean?” Undyne demands. “Alphys! What’d they say?”

Alphys looks puzzled. “I- I used to speak hands, b-but I c-can’t anymore. I think I-I’m out of practice?” As she says it, she shakes her head, like she knows that can’t be right, but doesn’t have any information to correct herself. “I d-don’t know.”

“Sans?” Undyne shouts. “Translate!”

He furrows his browbone. “it, uh, wasn’t really an answer. kid, you gotta give me more than that,” he says. “otherwise, i’m gonna start thinkin’ she’s right.”

 ** _I didn’t kill her,_** you sign, and Sans sighs in relief. Then you add, **_but someone did. And I didn’t bring her back. I LOADed to before she died._**

“Why does Sans look even paler than before?” Undyne asks. “How is that even possible? He was already bone-white.”

“uh, al,” he says, waving a hand half-heartedly in Alphys’ direction without taking his focus off of you. “i think we found our anomaly.”


	13. Sickened

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: i?? posted a chapter??? before??? i said i would????  
> alright which one of you made a pagan sacrifice
> 
> happy 4th y'all! happy 5th and 6th too!! why not!  
> enjoy :)

 

_[another memory:]_

 

You’re sitting on the bed across from Asriel, waiting for Mom to come in and tell you that Dad is going to be okay. Azzy is dripping snot out of his nose and wailing like a baby, and you’re _sick_ of it.

“Stop crying _,_ ” you tell him. “Dad will be fine.”

He sniffs, pausing for a brief moment in his noisemaking. “You don’t know that for sure!” he says miserably. “He’s sick and it’s all our fault and I feel so awful!”

You roll your eyes. “It was an accident, Azzy. He knows we didn’t _mean_ to. You can’t get in trouble for it or anything.”

“I don’t care if I’m in trouble! I just don’t want him to die!” Asriel shrieks, and then returns to crying loudly, which makes you want to cover your ears and scream.

“He _won’t_ ,” you reiterate, but Asriel has gone back to ignoring you in favor of making gross sniffling noises and getting his sweater sleeves covered in cry-snot. With a scowl, you leave him alone in the bedroom to go sit outside, away from anyone who might want to talk to you, and definitely away from anyone who wants to _cry_ on you.

There’s a small bench near the rows of planted herbs and flowers that Mom tends twice a week, and it’s just secluded enough behind the bushes and around the castle wall that you probably won’t be disturbed as long as you stay quiet while you’re there. The buttercups are in the garden, growing along the edge of the fence between ivy vines and various herbs, unaffected by the pain and anguish they’ve recently caused the Underground’s royal family.

You sit next to them, wondering how something so pretty and innocent could cause so much chaos.

You think that if buttercup flowers had SOULs, they’d probably be a lot like you.

Asriel has never particularly liked the buttercups; he’s never hated them, either, but they’re his least favorite of all the flowers Mom grows. You like them a lot, though (as much as you like anything these days). They remind you of the golden flowers that used to grow by the park by the children’s home, the one that you used to visit in the early morning before the other kids would wake up and tell on you for going out without permission.

Those mornings next to golden flowers had been the only peace you’d known, and you’d almost left a note asking—

Well. Back then, when you’d started making plans… Plan A hadn’t actually been the first. Plan A was the second. The _first_ plan had included a more… involved approach. But you couldn’t figure out how to break into the gun safe on your own, and after you’d asked another kid at the home to help you, you both got caught. He was sent to some correctional facility, and you’d just barely managed to escape that punishment as well.

After that, of course, the first plan was no longer an option, and so Plan A was born.

But if the first plan had worked— if you’d gotten a hold of the gun— you would have left a note asking to be buried in the field with those golden flowers. The only place on Earth where you’d ever truly loved  would have been a fine place to spend the rest of eternity, if it had all worked out. No one would have listened, probably, but it had been nice to pretend they might.

Oh, well. The first plan was busted before it was really even set in motion, and Plan A failed miserably. Seems like the universe is trying its best to keep you alive, for whatever godforsaken reason. (That’s fine, though. You’ve always liked a good challenge.)

You gaze longingly at the buttercups lined up in front of you, looking as menacing as a bright yellow firing squad. _You’re_ the one who wanted to take the easy way out— why does _Dad_ have to be the one to get hurt?

You don’t even deserve to have him as a dad, let alone have Mom and Azzy along with him. Dad is adored by the whole Underground, and with him, so is his family. And now, that includes _you,_ too. The Underground is starting to love you just as much as the king and queen and prince, and you don’t know how to deal with that.

You haven’t done anything to deserve their love. Asgore and Toriel have ruled this kingdom with grace and wisdom for _centuries,_ for longer than you can even imagine. Asriel has been trained to do the same for his whole life. But you? You jumped down a hole because you wanted to die. Everything else after that has been chance— luck, if you believe in that sort of thing, which you don’t anymore.

You have no more worth in the Underground than you did on the Surface. You’ve never done anything helpful, or good, or kind.

Of all the monsters in the Underground, Dad is the one trying the hardest to achieve freedom, to reach the Surface again and retake the world from the humans who stole it from him. He spends every day he isn’t at Home either listening to the concerns of his citizens or having secret meetings with his Royal Scientist, trying to figure out the best, safest, fastest way to break through the barrier. He _deserves_ to live long enough to see his people freed from the prison that humanity forced them into.

It doesn’t seem likely that he will.

Not because you don’t believe in him— if anyone could achieve such a feat, it would be King Asgore— but because you and Asriel have overheard late-night conversations of just how much power it would take.

_Seven human SOULs,_ the Royal Scientist had said. _That is how much magic it will take to break the barrier for good._

_Is there nothing else we can do?_ Dad had asked. _To wait for seven humans… it could be centuries. Millennia._

_There is one possibility,_ the Scientist had replied. _To combine a single human SOUL with that of a monster would provide enough magical energy to pass through the barrier— just to pass through, not break it. But once on the other side…_

Once on the other side, the monster-human amalgamation would easily be able to obtain enough human SOULs to shatter the barrier entirely.

_One monster._

_One human._

Six human SOULs.

 

You look at the bright yellow flowers, and you start to develop a plan.

 

*             *             *

 

**_Enough of this_ **

**_These memories are useless_ **

**_This is no longer productive_ **

**_You have a job_ **

**_You have a DUTY_ **

**_I have a purpose for you_ **

**_I have GIVEN you a purpose_ **

**_Years of waiting_ **

**_And finally, you can do what you were meant to do_ **

**_Listen to me, my child_ **

**_You are not done yet_ **

**_Go back_ **

**_We have yet to finish our work here…_ **

****

_~~[a memory:]~~ _

_[a vision:]_

 

You awaken to emptiness. There is only the VOID, but you are not afraid. You are comfortable; you are home. This is where you are from, and this is where you will be long after you are gone.

There is a soft, quiet voice, both in the distance and directly by your ear.

**_Well done, my child_ **

You feel yourself smile. This must be what happiness feels like. No, not happiness— anticipation. This is what anticipation feels like. This is what _victory_ feels like.

This is what Determination was meant to become. This is what everything was meant to lead to.

Everything is gone. Everything is vacant. Empty. Blank. Black. Hollow.

VOID.

There is nothing left in the universe, and your purpose is complete.

_You are no longer filled with Determination._

You’re just as empty as the rest of the world.

 

You are VOID.


	14. Searched

Alphys frowns. “W-what? The h-human? _Is the anomaly?_ ” she squeaks.

Undyne butts in, “What anomaly? What’s going on?”

Sans continues to stare emptily at you. “they admitted— they said undyne _did_ die. and… they’re what brought her back. not with magic… but with time.”

Undyne looks entirely blank. “Uh, what?”

Alphys, on the other hand, seems to understand entirely. Her face drops and her eyes widen in shock. “Oh m-my god, so th-that means the hy-hypothesis was right? Oh my _god_.”

“ _What hypothesis,”_ Undyne demands.

Alphys shrinks away from her as she squeaks, “Uh! Nothing! There’s no hypothesis!”

Sans ignores her, addressing Undyne instead. “look. it’s a long story, but… alph and i have been working on a little side project. this, uh, isn’t exactly the first time we’ve encountered an event like this— where two contradicting memories of the same situation appear. they’re correlated by a spike in our readings of the CORE.”

“So the kid killed me… and also didn’t,” Undyne summarizes warily. “And it’s only because of some timey-wimey magical CORE bullshit that I’m actually still alive?”

Sans nods once.

“Okay,” says Undyne. “So, I’d like to point out that **_I WAS RIGHT! NGAHHAHAHA!_** ” With this announcement, she picks up the nearest boulder-substitute (in this case, Alphys) and suplexes her halfway across the room because she’s excited, and she can.

**_You’re not mad?_** you sign at Undyne.

Sans catches the movement and repeats it out loud. “just a second ago i thought you were mad at them for ‘killing’ you.”

Undyne cackles. “What? _No!_ I’m still _pissed_ at them! They killed me, and it’s obvious now that they DEFINITELY killed Papyrus. But I was RIGHT ABOUT IT.”

“they didn’t kill paps,” he points out.

She pauses. “They totally did. How do _you_ know?”

Alphys stands up, recovering from being a substitute for a boulder like this happens all the time, and then steps in to add, “That’s what w-we were trying to t-tell you first. Papyrus isn’t d-dead, he’s m-missing.”

You sigh silently in relief. Unable to help yourself, you sign to Sans, **_See? Told you._**

He lifts a browbone. “yeah, alright. you didn’t kill my bro, congrats. still not sure i believe you about the flower, though.” Sans smiles at you.

Alphys does not.

“F-flower?”

“yeah,” Sans says carefully as he sees Alphys’ horrified expression. “the kid, uh, originally told me that the reason papyrus was gone was that some flower took him. i looked into it, but i didn’t find much—”

Alphys shakes her head. “I-I should have realized, he knows how to avoid the- the cameras, of _course_ he does, why am I so _stupid?_ ”

“the flower is a _he_?”

“He avoids cameras?” Undyne repeats. “What?”

“Um, Sans,” Alphys says weakly. “So, I-I don’t know if you’d remember, entirely, but, um, b-before you left? I was working on s-some projects of my own? A-and I don’t know if I t-told you, b-but the one a-about Determination? It, um, worked?”

Sans narrows his eye sockets. “i thought you were still getting letters. you wouldn’t be getting letters if it had worked, right?”

Alphys shakes her head quickly. “Not, uh, not that one. The, um, other one. W-with a, um. Soulless being?”

Sans nods. “yeah, something like that.”

She grimaces. “Okay, w-well. It worked. On a flower. W-which then d-disappeared.”

“when was this?” Sans demands.

Alphys sighs. “Just before the CORE readings started going haywire.”

“and you didn’t think to say anything?” Sans says incredulously. “alph, what the hell?”

“I-I know! I’m sorry!” she says. “It’s just— just, everyone was already mad at me, there were _so_ many letters, and I didn’t want anyone to know that I’d messed up even more.”

“seriously, al, that’s… you have to _tell us_ when something happens like that! otherwise it’ll end up being like…” He trails off, like he’s forgotten where he was going with his sentence. “uh, anyway. there’s a demon flower with determination out there somewhere, and he’s got paps, and we have to do something about it. so i’m gonna need you to tell us everything you know about this thing.”

Alphys looks pained. “I— I’m sorry, I really don’t know much about him. The experiment only worked once, he was the only flower injected with determination that did anything other than melt. I never figured out why, because as soon as he woke up, he disappeared. He left.”

Sans sighs. “great.”

You tug on Sans’ sleeve, and he looks down at you. **_I know about the flower,_** you sign.

His eye sockets go wide in realization. “oh yeah. alright, kid, tell us what you know.”

**_Well, he’s mean,_** you start with. **_He has no SOUL. He can’t feel anything like pain or joy or love. He used to have to the ability to RESET the timelines, until… I showed up. I guess I have more Determination than he does, so I took over control of SAVEs and LOADs when I fell into the Underground._**

Sans relays your words to Undyne and Alphys, the former of whom looks entirely confused.

“What the heck is a SAVE and LOAD?” she asks.

**_It’s how I brought you back. I can SAVE in certain places in the Underground, and I can LOAD one of those SAVEs if something happens and I need to go back in time._ **

“Like what?” Undyne says. “If you kill someone and then decide you want them back? What gives you the right?”

**_Well, yes. Like that,_** you say reluctantly. **_I don’t know why I have this power. I don’t want it._**

“but our readings have been all over the place for a while now, and you’ve only brought undyne back once, as far as we know. what’s up with all the other loads?”

You flinch. **_That would be… Well, I died a lot._**

Sans’ pupils flicker out, then back in. “you died? how did you _die_?”

You shrug. **_I got killed._**

“you’re just a kid! who would try to kill you?” Sans protests.

**_You threatened to kill me more than once,_** you remind him.

He flushes cyan. “that was when i thought you were trying to kill _other_ monsters.”

**_And they had their own reasons, too,_** you sign, and can’t help but look at Undyne, who scowls. **_It’s not their fault, it’s mine. I wasn’t fast enough, most of the time._**

Sans frowns. “so all of the jumping timelines and restarts and stops, they weren’t you messing around for fun— they were you dying, and then coming back?”

You nod.

“well, shit,” Sans says. “guess i can’t be mad at you for that.”

**_You can be. It wasn’t all just me dying. Sometimes they just wanted to be mean, or… or do something bad, again._ **

“who’s they?”

You freeze. **_Um, can we talk about that later? It’s… really not important right now._**

“sounds pretty damn important,” Sans says skeptically.

**_I’ll tell you later, I promise,_** you sign quickly. **_But like you said— finding Papyrus is the most important thing right now, and this doesn’t have to do with that._**

Sans narrows his eye sockets at you, but relents. “yeah, sure. fine. whatever. everyone’s keeping secrets anyway, so what’s one more? the _second_ that it becomes relevant, you’re telling us everything, got it?”

You nod aggressively. **_Yes. I promise._**

“okay. in that case, alph, pull up the footage from snowdin again. we’re gonna find papyrus, and then we’re taking out that damn flower. what was its name again?”

**_F-L-O-W-E-Y,_** you sign. **_He’s not a very creative namer._**

Sans smirks. “sounds like a king i know. alright, then.”

Alphys presses a few keys and buttons on her massive computer, which makes the screen flicker to life. It shows the forest in Snowdin, empty and covered in fresh snow. She presses another button, and the screen dissolves into static, which continues for about a minute before it reverts to the snowy scene— only this time, you’re standing in view of the camera, holding Papyrus’ scarf, and there are footprints and vine trails leading off into the trees.

“That’s all there is,” Alphys sighs. “Th-there’s nothing else to give us a clue. I watched the footage for the entire rest of the Underground when I was watching the human, and I didn’t see anything that had to do with a flower. There aren’t even any other static spots. Just… nothing.”

Sans thinks about this. “watch it again. you might catch something new if you know what you’re looking for, even if he does know how to avoid the cameras. he’s gotta be _somewhere_ in the underground, and if he’s in the underground, we can find him.”

“I’ll make popcorn and some tea!” Undyne declares suddenly. “Snacks are a vital component of searching for evil flowers!” She bolts to the kitchen and immediately sets to work. While she does that, Alphys focuses on pulling up all the footage again.

You start to make your way over to Alphys, but Sans rests a hand on your shoulder. “wait,” he says, and you immediately stop, turning back toward him. “does this ‘they’ that you don’t wanna talk about have to do with who killed undyne?”

Hesitantly, you nod.

He drops his hand. “and ‘they’… they’re not on the footage anywhere either, right?”

You nod again.

“why is that?”

**_I said I don’t want to talk about it now,_** you sign stubbornly.

“i know, kid, but i gotta ask… you’re not… hearing voices, are you?”

You tense up. **_Why… why would you ask that?_**

Sans looks concerned and deep in thought, as he replies, “because i think… i think i used to hear them too. there’s a lot about this whole situation that just seems… too familiar, and i don’t like it.”

Sans has heard voices too…? But not Chara, surely. Right? You wish they were there so you could ask them. But they’re not, so instead, you just shrug uncomfortably. **_Of course it’s familiar,_** you sign. **_It’s time travel, it’s happened before._**

He shakes his skull. “it feels like more than just that. i don’t know. we can worry about it after we get papyrus back, yeah?”

**_Yeah,_** you agree, but something still doesn’t feel right.

Undyne comes back over with multiple bags of burned popcorn and yells, “THE TEA IS CURRENTLY BEING MADE,” and then plops down onto Alphys’ console, squishing a few electronics that looked mildly important.

Alphys doesn’t seem to notice, as she’s avoiding looking in Undyne’s direction and she’s turned bright red (which is weird, considering you’re pretty sure lizards can’t blush, but then again neither can skeletons. It must be a monster thing). She flicks through the recordings on the screen methodically as Undyne chomps on her popcorn.

Suddenly, Alphys gasps. Undyne drops the popcorn, sending little kernels scattering across the desk and floor. “What?!” she says, immediately searching the screen for whatever Alphys has found. Sans rushes over to her as well, and you follow him close behind.

“that was fast,” he says.

Alphys doesn’t reply. She’s shaking slightly, staring at the screen, frozen where’s she’s paused it. Undyne puts a hand against her arm, and it’s a testament to how shaken Alphys is that she doesn’t react to the touch. She points.

The screen is mostly dark, with a few stripes of grey and purple. On the top of the screen, what looks like a string of cobwebs crosses the view of the camera. The back of a head is evident, black hair done up in two red bows. Muffet. And in front of her, there, in the bottom corner of the screen, mostly obscured by her legs but just barely visible— a glimpse of bright yellow. And a smile, full of fangs. He sees the camera— he knows you’re all watching him, he _wants_ to be seen talking to the spiders—

**_That’s… him,_** you sign weakly. No one is looking at you.

There is a moment of silence, long enough for you to count three heartbeats. After them, Sans exhales sharply and says, “guess we’re going to a bake sale, then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: what's that? i'm not dead? wow. amazing.   
> i had this chapter 75% done for actual months. sorry. i woulda finished it way sooner, but i just... didn't wanna.


End file.
